Forgiving Don Imus

I am a Rutgers alumna, one of many who was angry at Don Imus when he made racist and sexist comments about our women's basketball team. These gifted young women did not deserve to be the butt of a cheap joke.

Yet these young ladies and their coach were able to practice forgiveness, accept Imus' apology and move on.

Yesterday what has been described as a kinder, gentler Imus took to the air waves with a new radio show. He promised not to say anything to make the Rutgers women's basketball team sorry they accepted his apology. I was saddened later in the day to hear one of Imus' friends do a television interview and make a crack that only Al Sharpton can be perfect. It made me question the sincerity of the "Imus camp". 

Last evening, I watched the Rutgers women's basketball team play their hearts out after falling behind to capture a win against Maryland. In one of the last plays, team members sprinted down the court to defend against a score by Maryland. It was a riveting sight, watching these young women's athleticism and skill.

Were they thinking about Imus at that moment? No way. Their consciences are free. Forgiving people does that.

Some people think Imus won because he's back to work.   I believe the winners were on that court last night.

{visual description: Two Rutgers' women's basketball team members hug in celebration after a victory.}

Rutgers Team Accepts Imus' Apology

As Coach Stringer says let us hope this is a catalyst for change. Please keep everyone in your prayers as they journey on their road to healing and forgiveness.

On the way to the meeting, Governor Corzine was seriously injured in a car accident. He faces three to six months of being unable to walk, is presently on a respirator, has had one surgery and requires at least two more. Please remember him in your prayers as he recuperates.

"Those are my brothers" said Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut has died. I remember reading his books and being confronted by his often cynical view of the world. When I found out a few facts about his life, I understood better. His mom commmitted suicide. He joined the Army and was taken as a prisoner of war and hid in the basement of a slaughterhouse to survive.

And he wrote. And wrote. He did have a low opinion of humanity, some say. Yet at one speech, he referred to abused Iraqi prisoners of war by saying "Those are my brothers." And the place went silent. He knew about injustice.

As a society, we are confronting our own use of language related to racist beliefs that stem from a long history of oppression and injustice. There is, at least, the start of an acknowledgment that our public airwaves should not be used to broadcast racist remarks. But what about the use of this kind of language when we are out in public? What about talk around the dinner table or among friends? What is acceptable discourse?

We can debate who calls who what name and whether it's right for any person, no matter whether they are included in a certain group, to use derogatory language. And the news shows are full of pundits doing exactly that, holding up rap music as an excuse or permission for others using racist language. That argument falls flat for me. It's just as wrong to hide behind language when discussing these issues to avoid addressing and fixing the injustices as it is to hurl the epitaphs in the first place. Because it's about having a human connection to each other as brothers and sisters.

In my freshman year at Rutgers many moons ago, I was assigned an African American roommate. She became a great friend. But our interracial dorm room did not go over big with some. We found dead rats and mice left in front of our dorm room door with notes warning us to "stay with our own kind". Both my roommate and I were stopped by groups of both white and black students and threatened on our way to classes a few times. We had food dumped off our trays when we went to the cafeteria.

One day my roomie came into our dorm room and asked me if I wanted to get a white roommate. I began to cry, shook my head no and just hugged her in response. We never discussed that again. Eventually folks backed off from harassing us.

I learned a little about racism that year. Just a little. It was an entirely different experience for me because I am white. But I learned that racism is a very ugly and very real thing in our country.

When we do or say anything that denies the humanity of those who are different from us, we deny those who are our own brothers and sisters. It's easy to recognize injustice when it's done to us and much harder to recognize the magnitude of it when we haven't experienced it. We need to learn as a nation and a world to listen to those who really know of what they speak.

They are our brothers and sisters.

{To read some of Kurt Vonnegut's online articles from In These Times, please click on the link above.}

Rutgers Women's Basketball Team- We hold our heads high with dignity...and with respect for ourselves

{visual description: Captain Essence Carson of the Rutgers Women's basketball team addresses the audience at the press conference held today.}

Snippets:

Rutgers President : Thank you for being the outstanding ambassadors you are. My heart goes out to each and every one of you.

Coach C. Vivian Stringer:
Let me bring a human face to all of this...I want you to see ten young women who accomplished so much...that we...are so very proud of. These young ladies are valedictorians of their class....future doctors, musical prodigies...girl scouts..the best this nation has to offer and we are so very fortunate to have them here at Rutgers University....young ladies of class, distinction...God's representatives in every sense of the word.
...there are five freshmen...with over a 3.0 GPA...bright ..gifted hardworking. talking about Don Imus story....forgetting what it's ..about....perseverance, hard work...no one believed in them but them. That's the greatest story...I have nothing but pride and respect for them....came back to this..so hurt by the remarks that were uttered by Mr. Imus...we can't let other people steal our joy. ..I was a victim of racial discrimination but I had ...people..who stood up for me..
I would ask...who could hear these comments and not be personally offended? Are women hos? Would you want your daughter to be called that? ...It's about us as a people, black, white, purple or green...the color is green...these aren't political figures...hardworking young women that little girls look up to..bigger issue here...it is all women...have we lost a sense of our own moral fiber?
..i honor and respect their parents who entrust their daughters to me at such a delicate age...so I would ask all of us as adults what is this all about? Are we not responsible...for nurturing their dreams and supporting them? ...What happens when young people do good things and do the right things?..Is there malice in my heart? No, I'm hurt.....despicable words are not right...it's time for everybody to reflect on what's going on..it's been time.
..It took me 25 years to come to a championship game and for once....this was a team that had so little and gave so much...so young.....this was a team that would restore all our faith and confidence in young people. ..we hold our heads with with dignity and ...with respect for ourselves.

Heather Zurich, player:
...we fought, we persevered and most of all we believed in ourselves...but all of our accomplishments were lost, our moment was taken away. We were stripped of this moment by degrading comments made by Mr. Imus..what hurts most is that ...Mr. Imus doesn't know any of us personally...i beleve we present ourselves well... he knows not one of us.

{Each player gets up and introduces herself]

Essence Carson, Captain of team
I would like to express our team's great anger, hurt and disgust...deeply saddened by racial characterization. Imus..brought us to harsh reality ...under brightest lights... has made history...where were these major networks when we ...were making history? ..now we are being bombarded with emails, phone calls..taken a toll on us physically and mentally...we ask that you not recognize us in a light as dim as this....agreed to meeting with Don Imus....private meeting....express our great hurt and sadness this has brought to us...it's about women across the world, across this nation...take a stand..don't look at it as if we're ...attacking {Imus}....we're attacking an issue that we know isn't right.

It isn't right.

As a Rutgers alumna I am proud of these young women and I too am saddened by the fact that the media coverage was not there until the controversy with Imus occurred.