The Familiarity Factor

Like everyone else, I go certain places more frequently than others. I've noticed since acquiring my disability that when people become more familiar with me, it makes an enormous difference in our interactions.

With some people, the first few interactions can be awkward. Perhaps they're assessing my disability, unsure what it is or how to act. This is understandable to a degree, since I never met a person with quadriplegia (or knew what a person with quadriplegia would look like) before I acquired a spinal cord injury. I had a bit of a crash course in spinal cord injury after my accident (no pun intended). But it is also important to realize that people with disabilities have feelings and a right to be treated as a person, not as a label.

Perhaps part of what happens is that it takes people time to see *me* as a person. I can understand that and it certainly bears out in my experiences. The more familiar people are with me, the more likely it is that the interaction extends past social barriers - and other kinds.

Of course it's unfortunate that in our society many interactions are single happenings these days, leaving people with disabilities in the position of encountering folks who are checking them out or struggling with how to respond, etc. This can and does feel alienating.

Although it's reassuring also to know that, with time, familiarity can move what may be an awkward first encounter into a mutually respectful relationship, as long as everyone keeps an open mind and - frequently- a sense of humor, it would be helpful if more people were accepting of seeing disability in our communities. This can only happen as long as individuals on both sides - those with disabilities and the able bodied- eventually see each other as equals.