Gen 18:14..........Is anything too hard for the Lord?
Apparently not.
I've always hated needing help. I went into a profession so I could help others. It was not in my agenda to ever be the person who "inconvenienced" anyone. I consider myself blessed in so many ways. God has given me intelligence, resourcefulness and a good work ethic. And I always believed that those were enough to get me through any situation. By myself. Truck right through. I prayed to God, but I didn't depend on God.
When I acquired my disability, I decided that perhaps I should reconsider my Lone Ranger act a bit and accept some help. Not much. Just a small bit. And I began to pray differently. God was God, I realized I was not God. Disability or not, this was a very necessary and positive change for me.
I came to yet another crossroad when I needed an aide and Meredith came into my life. Today we are also friends, but that's a miracle. It was rough going at first. Instead of accepting her help graciously, I was frightened because it meant giving up those ideas I had about not needing help. And, boy , did I need help. Things were not working at all because I was pretending I didn't have a disability. Kind of hard to pull off when you have paralysis.
Her favorite line was, and sometimes still is "Are you trying to help me?" as I dropped things while she was trying to help me.
Now we laugh about my initial resistance to help, but the truth is that nothing changed until I changed spiritually. To do that, I had to let go of my idea of how things were going to be. Stepping aside out of my own way,so to speak, involved prayer and an open mind that my life would look different.
Yesterday, Meredith turned to me and said "Things are so much better now, aren't they?" and I nodded yes. Things are phenomenally better.
I can't believe the patience she showed toward my obstinacy and resistance accepting her help. I know God has been with us all along.
Nothing is too hard for the Lord. Even my head.
6 comments:
I am facing severe financial issues. Nothing has comforted me until I saw this. I hope I can change too with God's help to get through what's ahead.
Anonymous- These are very hard days. I'm glad you found some comfort. With the financial issues going on now, it's time for all of us to offer support- not blame- to those in trouble. I hope you continue to reach out at this difficult time both to God and other people. It's not something you need to face alone. Will keep you in my prayers.
My name is Maggie and I also have a disability. It took me a long time to understand that accepting some help allowed me to use energy on other things. I was very blessed to have supportive people too. Love your blog!
Maggie- thanks for leaving a comment. Nice to (cyber)meet you. I've learned there's a number of ways to use assistance to save energy and no decision is ever engraved in stone either- it's okay to be flexible and keep trying different arrangements. It is certainly a blessing (and key) to have supportive people!
very profound. thank you for sharing. this is a truth that can apply to so many aspects of life.
It makes me think of Paul's thorn in his side in 2 Corinthians Chapter 12-- "when I am weak, then I am strong"... when we finally admit that we can't do it alone we end up even STRONGER than before by accepting God's help, and the help of others! =)
Goldie- Definitely true :)
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