Friday, June 15, 2007
Super Power Chair Poncho
[visual description: A woman is wearing a bright green poncho. She is standing with both arms held out to the sides modeling it.]
So what do you think of this one?
Oh, I'm sorry. Let me explain. You see, I know this sounds ridiculous but those powerchairs that cost thousands of dollars - well you're not supposed to get them wet. Which means - lean closer now for the punch line - I'm going to need to get a poncho for my power chair to wear.
Silly me. I thought wheelchairs were meant to take you places and it never occurred to me that being outside would be an issue. But apparently it is. I find myself looking up at the sky now thinking "Is it going to rain?" I must be saying it out loud too since someone asked me today if I wanted a copy of the Farmer's Almanac for my next birthday. Very funny.
Anyway what you're supposed to do is keep a poncho handy and when it rains you casually toss it over yourself - and the very expensive chair - oh and you're supposed to carry some kind of freezer bag 1 gallon size (if you're too cheap to buy a joystick cover which I am) and then rubber band that over the joystick controls so you can clearly see them as the raindrops fall.
I have a few problems with these arrangements. FIrst of all I've always looked lousy in ponchos. My grandmother knitted me ponchos when I went to elementary school. I never liked them. She put fringes on them and it wasn't a good look for me. And I can't imagine a worse poncho scenario than wearing one that is covering me and a very large power chair that sticks out in the back. Does this poncho make my butt look big? You betcha.
Secondly I just don't see how, being a quadriplegic, at the first sign of rain I'm supposed to manage to yank out a folded up poncho, drape it over me and the chair and get a 1 gallon freezer bag over my joystick . It sounds like a lot of hand movement to me. I really think I'm going to need to practice all of that.
Maybe I'll go out during a light drizzling rain some day and work my way up to a downpour.