Thursday, June 21, 2007

It's a fine mess you've gotten us in Ollie....

[visual description: A photo of the comics Laurel and Hardy wearing kilts and bearing arms.}

The names will be changed to protect the innocent. Just like on Dragnet.

One of my friends called me to tell me that he wound up in a bit of trouble the other day and needed some (free) advice. I reminded him that his "bit of trouble" usually involved more complicated scenarios than I care to deal with by the time I'm done working for the day and he just sighed. Deeply. So I softened and asked what was wrong.

"Well," he said, "I was out in my offroad wheelchair and decided to try this jump."

"What jump?"

"Just a little three foot jump I found near a creek near my home. "

Ahh, I'm imagining rural scenes. I can see him now in his Frontier 5 wheelchair, angling up to the creek, giving it a careful, well practiced eye before trying it - and then I remember who I'm talking to - Ollie. "What did you do?" I ask, sounding like the parent of a teen who just broke curfew.

"I took the jump."


Silence. "I hit someone."

Now we're getting to the bottom of this. But there's more. There's always more with Ollie.

"I hit someone's car. Their Cadillac." His voice lowers. "I sort of put a dent into it."

"New?' I ask, knowing the answer.

Silence. Sighing. Very deep, very long. Then his voice breaks. "A week old."

"Ollie! How could you hit a Cadillac near a creek?"

"Well the creek was near the road and I should have taken another angle but I had a good shot at it."

So we discussed his predicament. I considered asking him to call someone else but really did feel sorry for him when I considered how he'd have to explain how he managed to dent a new Cadillac with a wheelchair. However I did warn him that the price would be that this was bloggable - sort of like a public service message to any one else planning to jump creeks near highways.

Usually it's the other way around - where people are hitting our wheelchairs. Check this out where a guy loading a wheelchair into a car got injured :

- although his wheelchair was destroyed and he was injured, he kept a great attitude about all of it.

Much better than the Cadillac owner I'll have you know. Ollie!

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