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Sunday, July 11, 2010

Bach and forth

When I played classical guitar before my accident, most of the pieces I played were Bach. Every morning I would pick up my guitar and play for an hour before I did anything else.

So after my accident I had to establish a different routine. At first I was getting used to the new morning routine a spinal cord injury imposes, but as time went on the loss of being able to play began to feel overwhelming.

I couldn't bring myself to even listen to classical guitar music after the accident without crying. I remember begging God to please restore function to my hands so I could play again. It began to take a spiritual toll.

My anger led me to go to the local tennis court, tape a racket on and hit tennis balls repeatedly over the net. As luck had it, a local coach spotted me out there for hours and set up a wheelchair tennis coach for me. The wheelchair salesman a friend recommended also happened to play in tournaments and invited me along.

The adage "Focus on what you can do, not what you can't do" is very true for newly injured people with disabilities. I started to wake up early to hit tennis balls against a wall. There was a quiet and stillness in the cool early morning air as the balls plopped against cement, then my racket, then back again and again. It wasn't Bach, but it was soothing.

By the time I had to retire from tennis, my anger and sadness at losing function and not being able to play guitar no longer stopped me from enjoying music. Although I missed playing tennis, I realized that there were a lot of other things I needed and wanted to do.

The list is long. These days I find much joy in going down that list and crossing off all the things I'm now ready to do - as a person with quadriplegia who's comfortable in my own skin.

I'll always be grateful to the people who supported me in those early days. At times I write posts on this blog or put up videos that specifically target newly injured people with disabilities. I realize not everyone is as lucky as I was -and am - to find people and resources to help them through rough spots.

One thing I learned is that the ball is always in our court. No matter how much others help us, it's up to us to take the lead. Showing up often leads to opportunities we otherwise wouldn't have.

So here's a little Bach from Segovia, the master of classical guitar. Enjoy. I have other things I have to go do.

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