Yesterday I was at a meeting in a room where there was a center table, chairs around it and then more chairs around the perimeter of the room. My wheelchair has a drink-aide attached to it, as shown in the photo. It's a large water bottle with a long straw which permits me to stay hydrated independently and it sticks out somewhat as you can see in the photo.
A woman entered the room, walked behind me and then complained to me about my drink-aide being "in her way" and added that she "was going to say something even if no one else did".
I'm well used to the "in the way" comments and whenever I hear these words, a part of me thinks "whatever", probably because I'm in a 200 pound power chair that is anything but easy to park in rooms designed for people sitting in chairs. But I didn't say that. In fact, I didn't say anything. I'm tired this week and waiting for a gadget to come that will help relieve that but with shipping costs what they are, it feels like it's coming by pony express. In the meantime I am quite exhausted so I didn't point out that she was the only person who chose to walk behind me when the rest of the room had plenty of clearance and people seemed to understand that, with the furniture layout, there was no "good spot" for me to park my wheelchair where I'd be out of the way. Nor did I explain the medical reason for the drink-aide and why I need it.
In any event, I said nothing, tired at the mere thought of explaining any or all of this.
She then said "Anyway, I'll just move this", touching the straw on my assistive device with her germy hands, "and - can you reach it there?" she asked as she placed the straw behind me on the opposite side of where I can access it and passed by.
"Doesn't matter," I said. "You see, once someone touches the straw, it needs to be cleaned from their germs because I - well - drink out of it."
It's just not okay to touch peoples' assistive devices without asking. And I really hate when people take physical advantage of my disability by doing things like that.
I also get rather annoyed when people do things to cause work (that I can't do) on days when I don't have help scheduled to come over afterwards because then I have to go around asking for help from people (or paying for help) for things that could have been avoided in the first place.
As for whether I was right or not in not responding to her, I will say that normally I do say something when someone talks to me. I can understand that may appear rude if I don't respond to what someone says. Nevertheless, a statement that I'm in the way and that my assistive devices are a problem for everyone, but they're all being polite about it, is a bit difficult to handle on two hours of sleep.
2 comments:
I am aghast someone would do this, and I don't think you were wrong to respond to her--after all, she did ask if you could reach it.
But what if she'd broken it? She has no business touching something of yours or being in your personal space or implying that you were bothering others (which I doubt since they saw they could simply walk around). If someone doesn't see a way around, they could mention it and give you a minute to back out and let them through. So many people choose to try to plow their way past us rather than take a few extra steps.
Having had someone try to pick my scooter up by the power seat when I wasn't sitting in it, I am firm that people shouldn't mess with our stuff, big or small. It's not that readily replaceable. The seat on my last scooter is shaky on the post from someone doing that.
Frida- it's a shame when people break things that are often out of pocket expenses, whether it's a repair or replacement cost. And sometimes we can't get things repaired and have to live with the damage - like a shaky seat.
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