When your child has a close call

This article is something you might want to read if you, a loved one, or friend has gone through the experience of a child having a brush with death, whether through illness or diagnosis. It could help you understand why, after the crisis has passed, the parent finds himself or herself still having palpitations and other symptoms as if everything is not okay. The reason? Could be post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Several years ago, my nephew received testing for muscular dystrophy. There was a different diagnosis in the end which explained his symptoms, but the testing process was lengthy and laborious, covering many months. Then, when one series of tests was negative, it seemed as if the doctor always ordered more tests - on and on. Could be a rare form. Could be this. Could be that. Rare- but fatal - possibilities hung over my sister and brother in law as they weathered through this.

The tests came back and it was none of those. However, I saw the "near grief" reaction in them that's talked about in this article. The illusion that everything is okay, that our kids will grow up to adulthood, was stripped away long enough that there was an understandable emotional reaction. And it's doubly painful to feel this way when others are saying to you "But everything's okay!" as if, somehow, the time you need to catch up to that fact is not legitimate.

What do you do with those feelings? This article suggests talking to other parents who have been through the same thing.

Of course, I'm not saying everyone will go through this, but it certainly explained some of what I saw my family go through. It was helpful in that way, so I figured I'd share it with others. It's a good beginning to exploring what support parents might need where children have illnesses or disabilities where they experience repeated close calls. Getting parents the support they need is a topic I don't think gets enough attention.