Some people get very envious of the fact that I get help.
Whenever they find out that I have an aide, they immediately assume that - well, I'm getting a luxury perk that only the rich and famous have. In other words, they think that an aide is like a maid. They assume that because, as a quadriplegic, I get assistance with food preparation, an aide is like a chef. Some think that because someone does my laundry and makes my bed, it's like living in a hotel all of the time.
I've had people say to me "That's a pretty sweet deal you got there. And you don't ever have to do housework either."
The best response to this I ever heard actually came from my aide, who once said to someone "If you break your neck, you can have an aide too."
That was rather effective in stopping the commentary. I suspect, however, that it didn't change his mind. In fact, I thought I detected a look in his eye where he was considering that scenario for a moment.
I've found ways to explain to people what an aide does. It depends on what disability a person has. If the person needs assistance dressing and bathing or getting in and out of bed, an aide will help. In my case, my aide will "be my hands" - go through paperwork, for example, or open up boxes so I can get at things. Or pass me bon bons. Although there usually isn't time for that. But it's a possibility.
Go eat your heart out.
5 comments:
Very funny. It's hard to explain what an aide does to people who've never had one. THey make all klinds of assumptions . I tell em that my aide is my bookie when people drop by and they believe me!
An odd parallel: at our college, students with certain learning disabilities are approved to have a note-taker in class. I don't know much about LD - but our Access Office gets reports from testing. The plan they work out with the student is grounded in that testing. So it's not frivolous.
Here's the odd thing: Students who agree to be the note-taker get priority registration (even before seniors) the next semester. It looks as though they also do better in their classes - probably because they pay attention to take good notes. You'd think folks would be flocking to do this.
Nope. I had to nominate students in one class because no one volunteered. Someone told me, "Who wants to do that? It's no fair that she gets someone to take her notes and we all have to take our own."
That situation does parallel this one pretty well. The other point you raise is trying to find people who will do these jobs. They're not valued in our society and I think that's based on a failure to honor a sense of community. I always tell people it's like climbing up a mountain - the humane thing is to help the guy behind and in front of you on the way up - since you're there and you can . He needs the help, you don't. But we've drifted into such an individual-based society that many don't think that way. Thanks for your comment.
I like your aide's response.
Janet
Janet,
my aide is awesome :) thanks for your comment...
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