Yesterday I went into the local supermarket to get a few items for Thanksgiving. I use Peapod for grocery delivery, but I occasionally enjoy going to the store and picking things out myself.
With assistance, I put a basket in my lap, roll around and use gravity to get food items into the basket using my elbow. It's like a video game. The idea is to put things like pies that can squish on top and heavier things on the bottom. I have pretty good aim. I once had a befuddled store manager wander over. Apparently someone told him a customer in aisle eight was throwing food around. That would be me. However, I deny that claim since not one item hits the floor and I buy everything I elbow.
Anyway, I went up front to check out.
The staring began. It was very crowded because of the holiday. The lines were all open and were packed. As I sat there, I literally felt eyes upon me. I turned around and saw several people avert their eyes and remembered.
I am "other" to them.
It's such a disparity. I leave my office where I work at the same level as able bodied people and set forth into society and am suddenly treated as the "other". The only person who spoke to me in line was an elderly woman in one of those scooters who wanted to know why I don't use one of them.
But no one else talked to me. Not even when a friendly banter started up on the line and I joined in. My comnents were met with a stony silence.
I can accept that because I live in a busy area of the country people don't offer assistance. I'll adapt to that. But what's the reasoning behind "equal treatment" in that area and then treating me as the "other"?
My life is more similar to everyone else than different. This disparity appears to me to be a rationalization simply not to deal with someone who looks different.
I left the store and wandered back to my office. Different hat, different treatment.
Disparity , disparity.
5 comments:
I see the same thing going on. It's aggravating to me that I leave my job go out in public and have the staring going on. At the same time I get ignored when I speak. Weird.
This sort of thing doesn't just happen to disabled people. I taught with a young Black woman, who was an excellent teacher, working on her Administration degree. In the education environvent, she was well respected. But she said it wasn't at all unusual to go in a store and see some White woman pull her purse closer to her body as she approached.
. Discrimination, no matter who it happens to, is ugly and wrong. Of course we know it happens to black people too. But I would like to write about my experiences as a person with a disability.
People not only stare and refuse to help but they think it's okay to pretend that I don't have the right to be out at all. They say things to me like "Oh you get out? Arent you lucky?" and treat me like I'm stupid, cheat me on my change, things like that.
I'm too naive, I guess, but I just can't imagine people being that ignorant and rude in this day and time. But Riley on Pd and Me said something very similar just the other day in a post, about being ignored completely in a conversation. Sorry ... I just don't get it.
Cheat you on your change???? Unreal. I hope you've met some nice people to help offset the bitter taste of those ignoramouses!!
I don't know if this is true for others, but I've found that when I'm out alone in my wheelchair people act more outrageously. I agree with you, db, that this behavior is "unreal", but it does sadly occur every day. The reason I write about it on here is to educate people because when folks come to church, they are dealing with this kind of baggage. I also think it's time to bring this kind of behavior out into the open and examine it and hold people accountable for it and the beliefs behind it. It's unacceptable.
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