Disambiguation is defined in Wikipedia as the process of resolving ambiguity.
I think it's a term we should apply to inclusion. After all, isn't alot of it about resolving ambiguous ideas, thoughts and concepts?
Think about it. A large part of the problem is that we the disabled haven't had accurate information put out there. The information floating out there apparently is sometimes downright wrong. Right there we need to practice disambiguation.
For example, we need to resolve any ambiguity about the fact that we like our wheelchairs kicked. We don't.
Today I informed a young man of about 12 in church that if he kept kicking my wheelchair I would go into spasms. He looked positively horrified - but he stopped.
I only resorted to saying this after his father already told him to stop kicking my wheelchair, I spasmed rather obviously about three times almost hurling me onto the floor and I realized he probably wasn't going to stop unless I said something. I was in a great deal of pain the first time he kicked the chair, even more the second time and by the third time I was getting ready to ask for divine intervention.
A friend pointed out that the kid stopped because he was probably surprised that I could speak. I think he was probably more concerned that "spasm" meant I would go into convulsions. He didn't seem to mind that he would kick the wheelchair and I would jiggle a bit.
What am I, a toy? Or is he just practicing for the junior high football team as a kicker?
What kind of message have we sent in society to our kids that it's okay to sit in church (or anywhere for that matter) and kick someone's wheelchair? I'll admit I had a moment or two of trying to resolve the ambiguity of having to even say anything when his parent was sitting right there. Yet the kid didn't listen to his father when his dad told him to stop kicking. And I was in so much pain that I was afraid I would greet the start of the "Alleluia" with a blood curdling scream so I didn't have much choice.
By the way, his father and I were fine by the time of the Sign of the Peace. The young kicker refused to show any sign of peace. That's okay. I can deal with that ambiguous response by disambiguating.
Don't kick wheelchairs.
4 comments:
So what if you have a few spasms? You can't expect normal kids to understand these kinds of different needs. If you were normal you would understand that . Learn your place, suck it up or stay home.
A Dad
Dear Anonymous Dad,
We aren't going to stay home anymore. So what if your kids have to learn some manners? This is about teaching them how to get along with people. Not kicking people in public should be taught by kindergarten. My kids (yes we have kids too) knew that by daycare. No kicking, biting, or otherwise intruding on personal space. A 12 year old doesn't know that? It's clear what was going on here. I'm tired of hearing excuses for bad behavior that wouldn't be tolerated if it was done to able bodied people.
A Dad in a Wheelchair
Dear Anonymous Dad,
You wrote,"If you were normal...." and "Learn your place, suck it up or stay home."
Are you for real?? Jesus is sobbing to the point of hiccups. Get thee to reconciliation!
Wow. I'm in shock that: first - you were kicked over and over by a horribly rude child, and second - that "a dad" left such a horribly rude comment.
After breaking two legs and a hip in a serious car accident my sister was wheel-chair bound for 6 months, and I have to say I was really surpirsed at how badly she was treated by strangers. Not all of them... but enough that it made an impression.
One would think that 'Don't kick wheelchairs.' would be right-up there with 'don't wipe your boogers on other people.'
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