Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Being strong

I was speaking with a woman (let's call her Ann) who recently acquired a spinal cord injury. Ann was in tears because of some of the changes in her lives she was going through. Her husband is divorcing her and Ann had to move to a small apartment, giving up a large and comfortable home. But those changes weren't what upset her most.

Ann was distraught because a friend told her she wasn't being strong enough. The woman told Ann that she wouldn't be around her until Ann got her act together and 'was herself again'.

I asked Ann if she believed in God.

Ann said she did.

So I told her about this blog post I read a while back that a military mom wrote. And I thought I'd share it on here too.

The writer said it was a good thing that God didn't throw away those of us who are at our weakest and only keep those who are at that moment strong. She wrote:

I've had some weak moments in my life, particularly during this deployment, where I've felt very close to dried up. I'm not bursting out with color, I'm barely making a mark. And yet, God in His incredible way, knows how to infuse me, how to strengthen me, how to bring me back to my original condition that He created me to be.

We all go through difficult times. It's not necessary to label ourselves- or allow others to label us- in hurtful ways if we show some emotion. I explained to Ann that she will find out who her real friends are. True friends find ways to be helpful in concrete ways or offer constructive suggestions rather than casting judgment in one sentence zingers.

And sometimes they just know enough to listen quietly.


Terri said...

The internet is a gift because it gives folks access to a support community that otherwise might be missed. People are weird about what they think are reasonable timetables for emotional adjustment to things...

Ann is lucky to have found you, Ruth. I will pray for peace and true friends for her.

Wheelie Catholic said...

thanks :) The internet is a gift!