I was in the supermarket the other day picking up a box of cereal and I saw a sale on Cheerios for $2.79. A very well dressed woman who was nearby reached over to hand the cereal to me and put back the Cheerios box she had, which was marked $3.99 and said "I'm getting that one too" and took three boxes of the marked down variety.
She complimented me on finding the sale and I told her that I always shop sales, which we did growing up. She told me that she grew up with money and had no idea how to do that, but was trying to be frugal so she just wasn't buying certain things. I saw that her cart was almost empty and her brow was furrowed, so offered to show her.
We went up and down a few aisles and I pointed out to her how there were sales in almost every section, if you just - well -kept your options open. She went off merrily on her way.
And it was then that I saw a woman standing over her cart, crying. She had a list in her hand and tears were rolling down her face. Two small children were with her - one in the cart, the other toddling around, looking a bit dazed. I rolled over and asked if she was okay.
She nodded and then more tears flowed. "My husband lost his job. I can't afford these prices. What are we going to do?"
There was a jar of peanut butter, a loaf of bread and cereal in her cart. I looked at the kids and listed a few programs she might qualify for.
"I couldn't," she said.
I asked her how much she had to spend on food. It wasn't enough, not to feed four people. I explained quietly that these programs were for families who needed the help. Her face changed. She looked at the kids. She stopped crying.
She asked for the information again. Wrote it down. "We're losing our house," she said.
"But you - and they- have to eat."
"I should be able to figure this out," she replied, dazed.
And that's when I knew there was a message in all of this. There's a limit to frugality. It's where hunger begins.
5 comments:
Why is there so much shame in needing help, but none in having more than one needs? Why is having more than one needs considered by so many to be something one can, and should, show off? Why are people PROUD to own expensive things when people are suffering like this.
Anonymous - You raise really good questions. Many of our social and government programs are seen as "charity" and the recipients are treated that way. In this economy, there are many who never thought they'd need help from these programs who are most likely rethinking their former preconceptions. But there are many whose lives are only touched in minimal ways by what's going on - certainly not the kind of upheaval where they can't, for the first time, provide basic necessities for their families and/or themselves- and think it could never happen to them, that anyone it does happen to didn't plan,etc. Spiritually, I believe this economic situation presents an opportunity for improving programs and treating those who need them with more respect and dignity.
The truth is that for years now these people had looked down on unfortunate people. Under Republican and its well funded think tanks (funded by wealthy, big corporation that is now begging/receiving millions of bailout checks), welfare and social programs have become dirty words. They were the people that helped trimming down all the social safety net in the name of free market and Capitalism. Don't forget the slogan "government is not the answer" and Limbaugh's propagandas about "liberalism". Socialism is bad, except when it's for wealthy people and big corporation. It's a pity to see once high and mighty people suffer or barbie dolls/soccer moms tried to be frugal. Yet sometimes I just want to ask "How does it feeeeeel????" first (in the sneering voice of Bob Dylan). This is the only way for them to see the other side of the mirror.
I'm feeling happy that we spent $107 for $180 worth of groceries yesterday. We bought *a lot* of chicken and meat at about $1.50 a pound on sale and put it in the freezer. This will form the basis of 3 weeks' worth of evening meals, with some leftovers; with double and triple coupons we also got such deals as 2 packages of wheat thins for $1 each and cereal for 50 cents.
We already have a lot of basic goods on hand and just have to add fresh fruits and vegetables (already purchased for this week within that money).
Our family's out of work as of next Thursday. I have no sense of shame about unemployment and other supportive resources, including using a food pantry for staples if we need to until we get food stamps--we have put a lot of money into taxes over time and will continue to do so. I'd rather use these resources and thus be able to stay in our house until we sell it if it comes to that.
We often don't shop as frugally as we can since multiple stores are difficult for us (my pain issues, his reduction in time and taking on more), but we can do it when we need! We're going to hit one more grocery store today for some other similar deals.
I really hope this economy turns around fast. It's just terrible for people to go hungry, especially children.
Frida- Yes, going to multiple stores is difficult with pain issues, but sounds like you got great sales. Am sorry to hear your family will be out of work. I hope this economy turns around soon too.
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