New years resolution number four: Look for the ability in disability

Yesterday I watched my nephew while my sister went to visit my mom who is still in the ICU, recovering from complications from her fall a week ago.

Both of us enjoy spending time together. I'm always amazed by his progress when I see him, as a result of PT and school. He enjoys creative activities, such as music and film and writing . Although he continues to deal with many issues from his cerebral palsy, his abilities shine when I am with him and, as his aunt, those are what I nurture.

This is a far different mindset than one that I often encounter in our society, where the barriers put in front of people with disabilities, some of which could be dealt with if we all had unlimited funds and resources, often are used to justify labeling them as dis-abled. For example, in a not-so-good school system, my nephew would never have received the services he has to help him with his math, which is a tough subject for him. Nor would he have been able to get much of the equipment he needs - a keyboard to write, for example. And, as a result, he would be more dis-abled, less able to use and show the abilities he has.

I remember years ago when I was traveling with another friend in a wheechair and we passed through a town where all of the restaurants had steps. We sat in front of one of the restaurants and a passerby remarked "How do people like that manage?" And, indeed, we appeared to be very dis-abled at that moment, because we had no way to roll inside.

My friend, however, got annoyed and she rolled over to the bottom of the steps, climbed out of her wheelchair and managed her way up the steps, dragging her wheelchair with her. When she got to the door, she turned and asked "What do you want? I'll get carry out" to the amazement of the passerby.

Not everyone can get out of their wheelchair and crawl up steps, nor should they, but many of us with disabilities do the equivalent every day in order to be "able" in a world that challenges our abilities done in a different way. And here's what I've found - most people with disabilities are creative, resourceful and resilient because of that. They are adaptable, versatile and often develop a great sense of humor as a result of their life experiences.

I'm seeing that in my nephew now too. As we were making lunch together, we came to a point where neither of us could grasp something. We looked at each other and laughed.

"Don't worry," I said. "We'll get resourceful."

Abilities abound in people. Let's not "dis" ability in anyone in the new year.