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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

He didn't go out much

My mother's roomie in the hospital told me when I visited that her late husband had a disability and used a scooter. She also told me that he didn't go out much because he was "one of those people who didn't want others to see his disability". She added that, as much as he loved her, he wouldn't have visited her in the hospital.

And with that remark, a look of profound sadness crossed her face and she went back to her bed.

It was a poignant moment.

As we near the end of 2008, I have a few prayers I've added to my repertoire.

I pray that more people with disabilities will have the right to mobility, that having the equipment or guide dog or TTYT machine they need to communicate will be considered a right, not a privilege.

I pray that there will be more physical access and that attitudes will improve, that the stereotypes and misperceptions about disability will fade and disappear.

I pray that we will see both the gifts and talents that people with disabilities have and the love they bring to the world.

I pray that there will be more caregivers who are reliable and kind. I pray that we begin to acknowledge they deserve a fair and just wage for their work and that they deserve respite and support.

I pray that those who raise their voices on behalf of our brothers and sisters with disabilities be given strength and encouragement, but also discernment and wisdom.

I pray that the doors of institutions open and people with disabilities take their place in our communities, with dignity and joy.

I pray that services be provided to avoid neglect and abuse of people with disabilities, not out of charity, but brotherly and sisterly love.

I pray that children no longer ask what's wrong with a person with a disability, because they grow up with a family friend or neighbor who has a disability and see disability as part of being human.

I pray for those with invisible disabilities, who may journey through life feeling alone. May they find the support they need.

I pray for those who are bullied because their disabilities are visible, remembering those who died this year as a result of unnamed hate crimes.

I pray for the souls of those who did not go out much and hope that, in memory of them, all of us will vow to work toward a kinder and gentler world.

6 comments:

Pilgrim said...

I remember the first day I took our son out in his wheelchair. He was about four when he graduated from the stroller.
That feeling of self-consciousness lasted about one day. Maybe it's harder to get over, if it's yourself, and the disability comes later in life.

A sad story just came across an email list I'm on, about one of two siblings getting invited to a New Year's Eve youth party in the home of a fellow church member. The son in the wheelchair is being deliberately excluded, because the hosts think it would be too crowded, and not enough room for his support person, even though she has three chaperones attending. The teens will be in and out sledding, and up and down from the basement.

I appreciate your prayers, but I almost despair of the church catching up with the legal system, in including people with disabilities. Those in the church who understand disability issues must think it would be sinful to pursue the same advocacy strategies within the church that have worked in the general culture.

Silver Tounged Devil said...

Amen!may it be so.

Ruth said...

Julana- Being excluded from church social functions is a real problem and one that is often not given enough attention. It is particularly sad when it happens to kids.

My nephew, who has CP, belongs to a church youth group where he is included in activities. My sister had to look for a church where this would happen, because it wasn't a "given", based on her experiences.

I've tried to advocate within the church myself and often find myself "spinning my wheels" and, yes, some do consider the type of advocacy that I try to do sinful.
But, coupled with a lack of legal protection, this type of thinking was what convinced me of the need to speak up and write about these issues until we achieve fuller inclusion and acceptance.

Pilgrim said...

That is interesting, that some consider what you are doing sinful.
I grew up in a fairly conservative church, where women were supposed to be submissive and let men lead. I've advocated aggressively to help our son in ways that would not be approved under that rubric. I think it does cause some internal dissonance, at times.

I wonder how much of the lack of advocacy in the church stems from the fact that caregivers for people with disabilities tend to be women, and women, historically (and currently, in some denominations), have not been in leadership positions, and often not had opportunity to voice their viewpoints.

Ruth said...

Julana- an interesting point about caregivers. (I love your comments!) thanks and happy new year.

Pilgrim said...

Thank you, and Happy New Year to you, too. :-)