Over at My Life as a Platypus, Goldie has written a wonderful post about her relationship with a friend she calls Todd, who used a wheelchair. Todd was her boyfriend in college and she writes candidly of her memories going out with him and running into access issues, as well as other aspects of their relationship. It's a great followup post to the 30 days segment, if anyone is interested in reading about relationships and disability from the point of view of a girlfriend/significant other. Here's an excerpt:
Todd and I met at the Special Olympics where we were both “Buddies” and were cheering on the athletes. I actually walked up to him and introduced myself because I had heard who he was through some mutual friends. We clicked immediately, (he liked that I was not intimidated by his chair) and had a date that same night. During that date I didn’t know how he did things and or if he needed help with anything so I just asked. He really appreciated that I felt comfortable asking but that I also didn’t assume he was helpless. Turns out he did NOT need any help.
Todd was an intelligent, kind, and strong man who was a lot of fun to be with. He also happened to be in a wheelchair. During our relationship we openly discussed our lives and the challenges we each faced… because we ALL face challenges in life.
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We did a lot of normal couple things, and some more unusual things. I learned how to do wheelies using his extra chair, and we would have wheelchair races in his apartment. There were also some challenging situations. We once attended a formal event at a local restaurant and discovered there were steps but no ramp. I had to help him wheel up the steps backwards. This happened more often than you would expect. My arms got very strong that year. He would get upset because EVERY place open to the public should be accessible (we were in the country and they were still catching up), and when they were not it made him feel like a second-class citizen. He did not like to make scenes where he seemed different than everyone else.
To read the rest, go here.
4 comments:
Thanks so much Ruth. I got emotional when I read your post because it meant a lot that someone else appreciated my thoughts on the experience. It was a very important time in my life. If anyone has any questions about my post I am happy to answer them.
http://lifeasaplatypus.wordpress.com/2008/06/19/wheelchair-wheelies/
Hey, maybe he reads your blog! I would love to get back in touch with him. I tried googling him but had no luck.
my pleasure to put this up, Goldie! You never know who you'll reconnect with online...
Hi Ruth! It has been a long time, hope you are well.
Soooo, the internets sure have changed a lot on the past 5 years. I found my friend on Facebook and I am sad to report that it did not go well. He said this piece seemed self-centered (is it? I don't even know anymore). But I still wish him the best and am glad for the memories that we shared.
Good to hear from you! The internet has changed a great deal in five years. Sorry to hear that things didn't go well with your friend, but you're right about always having the memories :) Take good care.
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