The scooter arrived!

[visual description: A photo of an open road ahead from the point of view of a scooter rider. The picture shows the controls of the scooter.]

It's very exciting. My scooter arrived today. It still has to be adapted a bit and I have to practice with it but I can feel the flow of air upon my face already.

And I decided, since I am now a scooter rider, to check out some scooter clubs. I figured - why not? Make some new friends. All the scooter ads online just look so cool - everyone is chummy, hanging out. It seems people get a scooter and it opens up a whole new world. Who knew?


So I call the first scooter club. Now I had to be careful because some of the names of these clubs put me off a tad. Like The Vampires. I wasn't interested, particularly due to the night rides. Or Scoot Free Or Die. Then there's the Screaming Dead Scooter Club. I just didn't like where that was all leading. I did find the Restless Scooter Club, but that was in Oslo. A long commute.
[visual description: In the logo to the left of the Restless Scooter Club, there is a checkered black and white racing flag to the left and an angry bee to the right. The text below spells out the name of the club.]

But I found this friendly sounding club so I called. The guy who answered the phone said "Sure we can always use new riders. We meet every Sunday morning at Krispy Kreme doughnuts around 11."

This was sounding better all the time. "Excellent," I said.

"What do you ride?" he asked. "A Vespa?"

"No," I replied. "I think it's called a Pioneer."

"A Pioneer? Who makes it?"

"Merits," I replied.

Silence. "This isn't a club for mobility scooters, babe," he said. "We ride real scooters. Italian scooters."

"My scooter is red," I said. "Any of you ride red scooters?"

"Well, sure, but -"

"Let me ask you this. Does your scooter go beep beep when you back up? Huh?"

"Uh, no."

"Mine does. Do you have a basket?"

"Uh, no."

"A top speed of 4 mph? Solid tires? Swivel seat? Adjustable width armrests?"

"Armrests?" he asked, groaning.

" Yes, armrests - flipup ones. So there. A safety flag? " I was spewing out all the features of my new scooter, gleaned from weeks of shopping for one. "How about this - antitip bars?"

You guessed it. He just couldn't appreciate the many features of my new scooter.

He did offer me a free jacket and some doughnuts if I show up. But I don't know.

I think those of us riding mobility scooters should start our own clubs. Clubs where swivel seats and adjustable armrests are appreciated.