Well the outside of my house looks like the monoski competition below. It was shoveled - well enough for an able bodied person. But there's snow on my windshield and I can't roll around the car to get it cleared off. Nor can I reach up that far anyhow, being a quad.
I always feel bad when I miss Mass, even when the reality is that I could go outside and get hypothermia trying to no avail to get there. I went out on the porch, looked at where my car was parked, where they shoveled and calculated how much arm movement I had, what angle the car would have to be at for me to have a chance - then started stopping able bodied people to ask someone to help - and pay them. But wait - I didn't get to the bank so I spent all the cash already getting help and I have one dollar left in my wallet.
No takers. Not for free. I've spent over 75 dollars since it snowed paying people to do things for me. That's on top of my aide coming over yesterday to make sure I have food. She's the only one who checked in wth me.
But getting back to Mass. In suburbia, apparently, we don't do rides to Mass. I know that's not true in the city because when I lived there or near to a city I never had trouble getting rides. I guess because fewer people have cars it wasn't seen the same way not to own a car or have transportation.
Let me add that to the inclusion list - practical needs of those with disabilities trying to get to Mass....bus routes, transportation, and, even when he or she drives, rides in certain circumstances.
And there's another thing. You know how they say check in with your neighbors who are elderly or disabled when there's bad weather?
Here's my situation: I have one dollar in my wallet from paying people to do things. My car is snowed in. So I can't get more money or get out. My aide is overworked, underpaid.
And I'm pretty independent when the ground is clear.
And I want to say this: I'm writing this to be honest about my own experiences - not to criticize anyone - just to point out the reality as a person with a disability. I also emailed some of my friends who use wheelchairs to see what they have to say - should be interesting.
11 comments:
So where's your family? They're supposed to do this kind of thing. You shouldn't put this on other people. It's got nothing to do with going to church. I get myself to church .
We value independence to a fault in our society. You must be a tremendously forgiving person to keep working toward inclusion. Bless you.
People get defensive when you ask them to get involved, don't they? I can't get to Mass either. My car is buried and am hoping the temperature goes up. I guess I can work from home tomorrow. I'll call my boss but it's awkward. I also didn't get to the ATM since I go on Saturdays. Calling people for help gets embarrassing when no one offers. I was really glad to read this and see someone say this out loud. Thanks.
People - don't assume everyone has family to help. Mine don't. But I have a garage so my car is free and clear. I don't go to church anymore. I tried but people stared at my wheelchair . I gave up which is on me. Anyway hope this melts for all of you quick.
I couldn't get to Mass either. tried to but couldn't see out the windshield and no one around tohelp. I do have cash most of which will be gone by tomorrow :(
Pray for really warm weather this afternoon.
First time reader here. Learning that a lot of assumptions I make are wrong. I don't think of people with disabilities except when I see one out and I realize now I don't know much about what it's like.
It has plenty to do with going to church--the Body is everyone, not just the people with a car that works, in a shoveled space. A congregation that recognizes this and makes being together a priority can and will organize rides for folks who need them. I'd question the priorities of any local church that doesn't see this community need as a calling and an opportunity.
I just got to church today for the first time since January; my street finally thawed.
I'm fortunate in that my neighbors sholel my walks when they shovel theirs, without asking to be paid, so the pharmacy and peapod and the USMail get through.
But this street has no sidewalks or curbs, and is too narrow for the paratransit van to get into. (I have to go down to the corner to meet the van.) So I'm bound by how and when and how well the city plows the street, and their rule is "passable for cars" whereas to be safe for me with either wheelchair or rollator-walker it really needs to be "bare pavement". I've spent over $100 this season on rock salt, mostly to salt the city's street, and it doesn't do much good since we don't get traffic to churn it around.
While I'm working on getting a ramp or a porchlift, I'm also working on getting my able-bodied driving neighbors excited about having bare pavement, or at least comprehending why I'm so fixated on it.
I'm blind and always need a ride to Mass although I'm willing to give it a go sometimes! There is no bus route out here to the church. I go about once every two months and on holidays only because I can't find people to give me a ride. It's a Catch 22. I can't get there so I don't meet more people to help with rides. I like your blog and will be back. Maybe we could have Mass on the Web.
Mass isn't on the Web, but the Liturgy of the Hours is. Even when I'm not getting to Mass I find that praying the Hours keeps me united with the whole Church's prayer. Try the Universalis site for Hours on the Web.
Also, when I was at Mass yesterday, one of the elders commented "It's a sure sign of spring, Karen's back!"
Ruth, wished you lived near me. (Do you?) You could ride with us...but you'd get there late (I just can't be on time, dagnabit). I'm so sorry to hear about this reason for missing Mass. I agree with you that this is something to add to the list for inclusion. At our parish, you would be able to call the deacon and one of our ministers to the homebound would bring you communion, which I know is not the same as Mass, but it's still the Blessed Sacrament. I hope your parish offers that too. Hope spring hits your area soon!
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