Disability and suicide: A tribute

Don't kill the dream - execute it ~
Unknown

I learned early on in my young adult life that I could spend my energy trying to make things happen that I believed in - or making a choice to let opportunities go by. I also learned that when I let opportunities go by, I never felt very good about myself.

Sometimes living this way was a burden I didn't want. I watched as other friends partied while I went on to get more education. Then I took low paying jobs and volunteer positions because I knew that was part of executing my dreams. My adventures took me places and introduced me to all kinds of people. All of them, I began to realize, were special human beings. Each person I met, no matter what his or her circumstances, whether they were in an institution, lived in a mansion or a city housing project - had more in common than not by virtue of their humanity.

I was baffled at the extremes I saw - not just the poverty versus the wealth, but the great despair neglect wrought in some people, no matter what their material circumstances were while others had such hope. Eventually I learned not to feel intimidated by someone's wealth and I learned not to assume that someone's poverty meant their life was not a full one. I learned to see past their circumstances to the person.

I learned that if someone did not feel loved, nothing else mattered.

Several years ago, a friend of mine with a disability killed himself. He had money, a good job and fairly good health. But he thought he had no one who cared about him. He was a generous, funny guy who is missed by everyone. He was a special human being who became, in his mind, a throwaway. He lost his caregiver and his family member died. In a tragic act of desperation, he took his own life.

I'm posting this in his memory. If anyone reads this and remembers to reach out to one other person who needs to feel connected, it's been worth writing.

And if by any chance *you* are feeling like a throwaway, please reach out for help. I wish someone had said this to my friend : You are a special unique person who is lovable. There is no problem that supercedes your worth as a human being.

If you've lost material wealth, you can find spiritual wealth in the meantime. If you've lost your health, you can use it as an opportunity to philosophize about life. If you've lost friends and family, you can build a bigger community than you ever imagined.

Don't kill your dreams - live them out.

RIP HG

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