As a parent of 2 young adult children with lifelong disabilities, I appreciate your ability to recognize this all to common behavior as what it is - ableism. A huge challenge for young people who grow up with a disability, and have only that frame of reference to draw from, is to develop a healthy self-love, recognize and deal with rampant ableism, and somehow learn socially appropriate behavior in the midst of the conflicting messages. As you probably see with your nephew, it is really tricky, if not downright impossible to figure it all out. The ableist messages that our kids get from the "authorities" in their world - church leaders, teachers, scout leaders, coaches, etc - are pervasive, damaging and so hard to counter. How's a kid to know what the truth is?
Janet
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