Nothing is ever the same again...

... once you get the diagnosis that you have a permanent disability, is it?

Whether it's a diagnosis for you or for a loved one, when all of the tests are done and the doctor has sat you down and told you, it changes everything.

We even have words for it. We call it when the doctor tells you " what is wrong with you ".

Those are ominous words. Certainly living with a disability is a life changing event. It changes the way you go about your daily life in many cases. It means not being able to do certain activities for some people.

Because the language around the state of being disabled is so negative, we often fear our future with a disability more because of that than the actual reality of living wth a disability.

Many of us move on to live full lives, constrained more by the limits placed on us by society than by our disabilities. Our world may be different, but that doesn't mean that we should reject ourselves or give up on our future.

My advice to people who are newly disabled is that it's important not to get negative. There will be plenty of other people ready to do that for you. When they do - run, crawl or roll away as fast as you can. Do not buy into the idea that you should feel ashamed of your body or how you move or do things differently from others. Read about disability culture so you can learn about the issues that affect all of us and get a sense of identity. This also helps you to stop personalizing ableism - and may motivate you to get involved with social justice issues.

There are many strong and wonderful people living with disabilities who accomplish more than many able bodied folks. Some have been disabled from birth. Many wake up every day and do not even consider how their lives would be if they were not disabled. They are too busy living life with their disabilities - and doing just fine.

They certainly don't look in the mirror thinking "what is wrong with me?"

Neither should you.