Temporary and Permanent?

For God so loved the world, that he gave his ONLY BEGOTTEN Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Last night, I spoke with someone grieving over being told that her disability would never go away.

"The doctors told me it's permanent," she said. "And I can stand the idea of it being temporary, but not permanent."

I understood how she felt. We go through an adjustment process when we acquire a disability. Some people get depressed. Others get angry. Or both.

I gave her time to talk about how she felt because I know she needed that. Then I asked her if it would be helpful to her if I told her how I came to terms with my disability. I explained it would take time, but that I had developed a perspective that helped on days when, early on, I had those same feelings.*

She said yes. So I told her what my realization was. " All disabilities are temporary. Because life on earth is temporary."

There was a silence. "Are you one of those God people?" she asked.

I laughed. "I'm a Catholic. I believe in God."

Another silence. "I do too. Hadn't thought of it that way." Then a sigh. "I guess someone can stand something if it's temporary."

I told her to try that, until knowing that it was "permanent" was not as scary.

Living with her disability over time will calm her down. Most people are just so frightened and the people around them unwittingly add to it. It has a ripple effect.

We are not here forever. Whether we want to admit it or not, we're mortal. So nothing is permanent.







*Over time, I adjusted to having a disability and , in my experience, many people live with disabilities without being in emotional pain over it - this is usually an initial reaction added to by society's fear of "being disabled". We do, however, get bummed by the lack of inclusion and access in society. There is a great cartoon with a picture of a wheelchair user at the bottom of a flight of steps looking up who says " Now I'm depressed."