Stress proof your life...

I was talking to a friend this weekend about the correlation between having a disability, getting stressed out and feeling angry. We both live alone, use wheelchairs, have demanding jobs and face many of the same issues.

He told me that he believed the solution to a lot of stressful situations was to pray. I nodded and we both said simultaneously "At least then you don't feel alone!"

We had a good time sharing a few stories that now seem funny about jams we both got into when we needed help and no one was around. At the time, however, it isn't easy to laugh at stressful situations.

Everyone can relate to a busy work schedule causing stress. Certainly my friend and I share that with everyone else.

But people with disabilities face certain stressors that are different. For example, if you live alone and have outside help, things happen beyond your control that require assistance. Sometimes it seems the lightbulb goes out right after your aide leaves or the cat knocks over something that blocks your hallway, making it impossible to get through in your wheelchair. Although those of us who live alone make that choice and realize that "this is the way it is", getting through such a situation is stressful and can cause feelings of helplessness and even anger.

Sometimes that anger is directed at God.

Especially when I was first disabled, I blamed God for everything. I would bargain with God saying "If you would just fix my body, then I wouldn't have to deal with this". I would point out that I could be doing so much more with my life and none of this made any sense! I realize now that this was about my process of acceptance, but at the time I nursed a healthy grudge against God.

Then I turned a corner one day when I realized that my healing could be spiritual instead of physical. I began to pray for "healing" in a more general sense and found myself feeling less angry and less upset- at least more of the time. It was a slow process for me because I am Irish and stubborn and have a Type A personality.

Over time a sense of peace came back into my life and I remember thinking that I could live with my spinal cord injury. This made things more manageable.

Although I still feel stressed and angry at God and, unfairly sometimes, at other people, I know now that prayer is my best recourse. It not only reminds me that I am not alone in this journey but that God can provide what I need in that moment.

It is up to me to quiet myself so I can discern what that is so I am both open and ready for healing.