Our focus is on living, not on our disabilities...

"My darling they'll never see past your legs unless you do."
Eleanor Roosevelt to FDR

Those of us with disabilities come to a crossroad in our lives where we have to face decisions and make choices about what we can do within our physical limits.

In some ways, it's no different than the process others go through when they make life choices. However, we live in a society where the majority of people with disabilities don't work. We face barriers, attitudinal and physical. There are still labels and misconceptions and myths flying around about what people with disabilities can't do. This can be a difficult atmosphere to manuever through on the road to adjusting to living with a disability.

We can, in other words, "psych ourselves out". We can settle for less than what we can achieve. We can make negative assumptions . We can feel out of control and helpless - and stay stuck in that. This is a very painful way to live.

I know, personally, that I have to let go of other peoples' reactions to my disability many times in order to attend to the business of living. If I responded to every person's reaction to my wheelchair, for example, I wouldn't have time to get my job done, nor would I be able to have a nice dinner with a friend or date. If I had allowed other people to tell me what I could do with my disability, my life would be more limited than I feel is necessary.

The reality of living with a disability is that it can be pretty normal. Like everyone else, I work, pay my bills, socialize, and have hobbies. I worship, attend Mass, and participate in several volunteer groups.

Over the years, I've learned to "see past my legs". I know that many of my friends living with disabilities have done the same thing. Our focus is on living, not on our disabilities.