Do you mind if I go in front of you? Uhh, yeah

Disabled people still have to break through the stereotypes. The labels. The red tape. The hassles.

In order to do this, we have to be in the world. We can't do it from our living rooms although it's tempting sometimes.

Those of us in the spinal cord community talk about these things all of the time. We realize that the way we carry ourselves reflects on others in wheelchairs. We have a responsibility to contribute to society and to act in ways that are not only appropriate but, in some instances, require a great deal of patience and maturity. Because it's not easy when you're breaking through new ground.

It requires fortitude. It requires prayer.

When I don't get cooperation from the able bodied world, I persist and pray some more. I read the Bible. I particularly read about the Apostles. They missed Jesus after He left. They were chosen but didn't want to always carry the message. They were treated badly.

It was not a good gig. Paul asked God to take away the "thorn in his side". I know what he meant. I'd like God to take away the metal contraption under my butt.

I've learned to rely on my faith as I fight the good fight and stay in the race some days. I roll away from battles that aren't worth it. I compromise when the alternative means going against my principles.

But I know I can't roll away from this issue. Inclusion is the goal. Those who cannot even speak rely on those of us who can. Rosa Parks didn't say - I'm tired from being at work, let someone else sit here, let someone else break the barrier." Martin Luther King Jr didn't write "I have a dream but who's going to listen?" Christ didn't say "Take this cup from me and if you don't I 'll run away".

Sometimes I think it would be easier to just go out and do one dramatic thing to make a point and have it all over with. Just run my wheelchair up on a flagpole somewhere and scream "Equal rights!" But it doesn't work that way with this. It's a daily gig. I have to be in society as it is, with all the hiccups and flaws, in order to change it. It's going to take time, maybe even generations.

And, the hardest part of all, is I have to try to practice patience, maturity and courage. Almost makes me want to throw a temper tantrum some days. And I do. Because, disability aside, those have never been my strong suits. I wasn't handed a superhero suit when this happened. I've realized its up to me to develop those traits because I now need them. They're no longer a luxury, but a necessity.

I'll think sometimes if one more person goes in front of me in line at the store and then says "Oh I thought you were with someone" or "I have to get back to work, do you mind if I go first?" , I'll scream. I work. I'm busy. What do they think - that I get a check every month to pay my bills?

Well, yeah, they do. Nope. The mailbox is empty. I work. I want to work.

How will perceptions be changed if we don't speak up? We have to let people know who we are. Sometimes that means talking back and taking back our space- claiming that space in line as if we are standing up.

"Yes I do mind. "

And being laughed at. Or glared at in disbelief. Or lectured.

But knowing inside that this is how the change is going to happen.