Children with Invisible Disabilities

"What a cute little boy!" I thought as we waited for Mass to begin.

He was adorable. He had big eyes and a great smile.

But suddenly he wasn't smiling. As I waited for Mass to begin, the little fellow began to tug on his mother in a more physical way. She attempted to soothe him. People began to look over and stare. The little boy began to kick and moan. He clearly was lost inside himself.

I knew from my work with children that this little boy had autism. This wasn't a child who was just acting out.

My heart went out to his mother as she sat, alone, attempting to deal with the situation. She clearly wanted him to have an opportunity to go to Mass, yet his behavior kept escalating.

Fortunately, he calmed down as Mass began. I could see that his mother, who now held him, was crying, silently brushing tears from her face. Her feelings ran the gamut from frustration to anger to grief to embarrassment.

Invisible disabilities present their own problems. Some of our beloved children may look healthy and are certainly beautiful, but their families and friends know that they have disabilities. It can be very difficult when such children and their parents have nowhere to go for support.

How do we provide that? We can have ministries for caregivers and people with disabilities and women's groups who can reach out to such parents and children.

It is often true that grieving parents, who feel very vulnerable, may be reluctant to ask for help. They may not feel comfortable going to the pastor with their concerns and needs. Maybe they are in a bit of denial, hoping their child will grow up to be "normal" and the whole situation will just go away. They may feel awkward about placing their concerns out in the open.

The rest of us in the Catholic community can help. We can let these families know they are not alone. We can practice patience and tolerance when appropriate. We can find out what the spiritual needs of such parishioners are. We can reach out to bridge the isolation and cut through the fear they are feeling.

When we stop and think about what Christ did with His time here on Earth, seeking out those who needed Him the most and His healing, our prayers as to how to handle these situations will be answered.