Being present for someone in difficult times...

When I return to my house I find that visitors have been there and left their cards, either a bunch of flowers, or a wreath of evergreen, or a name in pencil on a yellow walnut leaf or a chip.
Walden, Thoreau


I was reading Thoreau this morning who , in my opinion, was a bit too fond of his solitude. He wrote of not needing human company and extolled the virtues of his pond and surroundings. Although I, too, love nature, my reaction sometimes to his writing is that he protests too much!

However, what is interesting is that he wrote about his occasional visitors with such fondness and it clearly meant a great deal to him that people came even if he was out on one of his long walks. They would leave signs of their arrival, such as cards, flowers or a mark of their name. I saw this as proof of the fact that he really did not enjoy his total solitude as much as he pretended. But it also reminded me of a very hard time in my life and a friend who reached out when no one knew what to say.

I had a series of difficult things happen in my life - all in a row. People didn't understand and began avoiding me .
But one friend knew what to do. One day while I was out getting medical care, she stopped by my home and left a complete dinner for me with a card and her name on it. It read simply "Thinking of you".

As I went inside, my fears from the day began to dissolve and changed into gratitude. I felt better immediately. Instead of feeling alone, I realized that she, like many others who perhaps didn't know how to reach out, were with me in my emotional and physical pain. This was a sheer gift - and it wasn't about the meal (although that was , on a practical level, helpful). This kind act of my friend nourished my soul.

Like the gifts left at Thoreau's door by his friends, it was a true treasure to me.

Prayer Pager Project

Do you know someone who is seriously ill?

The Prayer Pager Project provides a free pager to them - here's how it works: when a parishioner,friend or relative prays for them, their pager goes off.....as a reminder that prayers are being said.

Makes you think twice....

Saw this on CowPi Journal : Wonders.

Separation from Communion

I always feel sad when I talk to a Catholic with a disability who has stopped going to Mass. This separates them, in many cases, from Holy Communion and also from being in communion with other Catholics.

I'm not talking, of course, about those who are ill and homebound. That's a different situation.

What I'm addressing are people who could go to Mass, but either don't have the transportation, are afraid to go or think they aren't wanted in our parishes.

My friends down in the Diocese of Trenton have an active disability ministry where they are working toward getting folks without transportation to Mass. This is a very necessary and practical outreach for those with disabilities and our elderly who could go to Mass if they had a way to get there. There are also several local parishes who have parishioners offer rides to people to get to Mass. These solutions are simple and can easily be implemented in most, if not all parishes, over time once the awareness is there that transportation is a barrier to attendance.

It is harder to address the fears of people with disabilities. I received a post from a reader who put it well by stating that he may be wrong in assuming that he won't be welcomed at Mass because he is often treated that way in other places.

The Catholic Bishops not only promote inclusion of people with disabilities in the Church, but in society in general. Their statements on this issue are broad and far reaching. Take a moment and read the USCCB's more recent statement . You will continue to see more posts on this as I address issues raised by the Catholic bishops on inclusion.

I can assure readers with disabilities that the Catholic Church promotes our inclusion and there is a positive momentum toward full inclusion. On the other hand, if you sit back and don't join in, you will be separated from Communion.

That, my friends, is too high a price to pay for being afraid to take the risk of showing up.

What is the Catholic Church's vision for people with disabilities?

In the 1978 Pastoral Statement of US Catholic Bishops on people with disabilities, the Church's response to people with disabilities and guidelines as to the parish/diocesan levels are provided. I urge you to read this document if you haven't.

As the statement indicates, the Church has a history and tradition of ministry to people with
disabilities and there is a realistic optimism about the future.

Ministries for people with disabilities are encouraged. Over the years since this statement was issued, ministries have cropped up all over the world. This "grass roots movement" is taking on momentum, as you can see from an earlier post showing a list of such ministries in the US.

It is important to realize, however, that even if your parish does not yet have such a ministry, there are easy steps to take toward inclusion. If you are a person with a disability, serve the Church with your talents and gifts. Others can help to create a welcoming and open atmosphere for such change to occur.

Together we can make the Catholic Church's vision continue to grow.

A Song Not Scored For Breathing: Catholic Carnival # 94

A Song Not Scored For Breathing: Catholic Carnival # 94

The Catholic Carnival is up!

What would you do if you knew you could not fail? - Anonymous

What's the earning potential of Ambidextrous Quadriplegics ...

There is an article in Slate stating that left handers make more money.

I wonder if this applies to left- handed quadriplegics.

Actually I've always been ambidextrous. This was inherited from a few relatives who, a few generations back, I am told, were real artists. One was a painter, another was a talented seamstress.

I have no talents in either direction, even prior to my disability. But I am left- handed.

I'm in good company. THere are lots of famous left-handed people - like Ruth Buzzi, Matt Dillon, and Tom Cruise.

The 38th, 40th, 41st and 42nd President of the United States were/are also left- handed.

Under miscellaneous left-handers is listed Joan of Arc and Helen Keller. (I think that's where the quadriplegics might also be listed.)

I wonder if being ambidextrous disqualifies me .....

Charis blog

When I am completely united to you, there will be no more sorrow or trials; entirely full of you, my life will be complete.
– St. Augustine

Dan from Charis (click on link above) wrote in his comment to my post about "resting in God" that all of us, disabled or not disabled, face the same spiritual issues.

I completely agree. This is the whole point of inclusion. We have a lot of common ground, more so than not.

We all face sorrows and trials while we're on earth - it's just part of being human. This quote is immensely comforting as a reminder that we are incomplete until we are "entirely full of GOd".

What trials and sorrows do you face today? Have you found prayer to be a relief - or is it difficult right now? When we turn to God, we might feel comforted and reassured, but sometimes we might feel angry. Those moments may be full of clarity about ourselves and where we are at. It can be quite painful sometimes to assess - in an honest way - what is going on inside of us.

It's good to remember that we are fallible human beings. The Bible is full of examples of people who turned to God after struggling. It can be tempting to paint a rosy picture of spirituality - to puff up one's ego - but I don't think anything but honesty really helps us or others. The reality is that, because of our failings, we all have blind spots and trouble areas which we need to work on.

God can help us attend to those spiritual shortcomings if we go to Him.

Please visit Charis - today Dan has a wonderful post on Humility, which is appropos.

Day for Life 2006

Katja from broken clay was kind enough to leave a link to Day for Life 2006 from the Catholic Bishops' Conferences of Ireland, Scotland and England & Wales on inclusion.

Katja's blog, described as The Art of Intermittent Disability, is excellent and well worth visiting.

Congratulations to the 5th and 6th grade...

summer session religious classes at St. Charles Borromeo parish in Skillman NJ for raising over $3000 for Heifers International!

Please click above to see the website of Heifers International....and the wonderful work they do.

Teaching our youngsters the value of service work is all important....way to go to the staff and students!

National Catholic Partnership on Disability...

now lists diocesan offices for ministry for the disabled. This list shows the growing movement toward fuller inclusion in the Church ! Very exciting.....

click above to see if your diocese has one....if not, why are you sitting there?? Get involved...

Seeking rest....

Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in you.
– St. Augustine



Over the past four or five days, I've had minions of people telling me to rest - doctors, friends, aide, etc. (OK maybe minions is an exaggeration! But it's a great image, isn't it?)

My argument has always been that I'm paralyzed - how can I possibly overdo things? Apparently I can despite limited movement. The proof is in the fact that I get pain - and fatigue. These physical symptoms clearly warn me when I exceed the speed limit of being a quadriplegic. I know then that I need physical rest.

But how do I know when I need that other kind of "rest" - the spiritual kind? I know it happens when I am feeling irritable, short-tempered and out of sorts as a result of not setting enough time aside for prayer time, reading the Bible and being with God. When I do spiritual practices, I am able to achieve a state of being where I am "resting in God".

I remember years ago when I went on a Catholic retreat with a group of terminally ill people. Most of them had cancer and were preparing themselves for their final journey home to God. Yet meal times were joyous and our final party the last night of the retreat was full of laughter and smiles. I knew that these people were at peace because they looked forward to being one with God.

For those of us with disabilities, our challenge is to seek God's rest daily as we face each day. Although we do not face death, we do deal with physical problems and stressors that can distract us from our spiritual practices of prayer and being with God. We can allow anger, frustration and bitterness to separate us from God's love if we are not careful. We can let feelings of alienation and fear drive a wedge between us, others, and our Lord.

I am writing of these things because I have done all of them. I have squandered precious time in my life by giving into these negative feelings and states of being. I share this in hopes of sparing someone else that suffering, because it is truly suffering to be separated from God in that kind of negativity.

I am more vigilant now about turning toward prayer and God when these feelings pop up. My vulnerability as a human being with a disability is something I have learned to embrace instead of deny. This allows me to be honest with myself about my true spiritual state of being with God and ask for His help.

Time for --- Wheelchair Humor...

...what can happen to your roomie when you need to make room to roll your wheelchair by at the bottom of the sleeper couch.....

What is access versus inclusion?

Access to our churches is about overcoming structural and communication barriers. It allows a person with a disability to physically "get to Mass" . It may mean installing a ramp, having materials available in Braille, or arranging for an interpreter for deaf parishioners. It may be something as simple as a different seating arrangement, so a parishioner in a wheelchair can sit near familiy or friends.

Inclusion, on the other hand, is about making each person feel like a valued member of the community. At its core is the teaching that each person is created in the image of God and has gifts and talents to offer to a congregation. Being sensitive and acting in a way not to exclude those who are different , even if it's not intended, can take time, education and awareness.

The reality is that physical access is much easier to achieve than inclusion, simply because it can be planned out step by step. A parish can set aside funds and time to build a ramp or make a bathroom accessible. When the renovation is finished, physical access has been achieved.

But inclusion is not as tangible and therefore more difficult to achieve. It is important to stress, as a Catholic with a disability, that it is a two way street. People with disabilities who have gifts and talents to offer need to participate in their parishes and "show up". This may feel intimidating to some, but change will only come about through those who do so. Parishioners who are disabled need to be willing to invest their time and energy as volunteers for their parish - just like anyone else.

Other parishioners can help by keeping an open mind about including a parishioner with a disability as a volunteer or committee member. People may be used to thinking of folks with disabilities as helpless or unable to contribute - at least until they work with and have a positive experience with a blind parishioner, for example, who sings in the choir or acts as lector. Not only will parishioners realize that the blind parishioner is just as capable at these tasks as sighted people, but such interaction will reveal more common grounds than differences.

Why is inclusion so important to our Church? Because it affects not only parishioners who are in our parishes, but those who do not come because they are afraid they won't be welcomed. As technology and equipment has improved, people with disabilities who used to be marginalized in society no longer need to be.

Those of us with disabilities who can participate need to do so, to pave the way for others, including the next generation.

We Catholics believe in the sanctity and dignity of every human life and , by practicing inclusion of people with disabilities, we can turn our parish communities into living examples of our beliefs.

A fourth grader with CP goes to school...

..click to a slide show of how he gets from his house to school using his equipment.

Dreading going back to school ...with a disability...

...from the Kids Health website, written by a doctor, here is an article that talks about a child who uses a wheelchair and his first day of school. (Click to read).

My nephew who has CP is going through this right now- and I suspect all across the country (world), this happens. Will a new teacher and new friends understand why I am different? Will they laugh at me? Will I be able to manage? Will I be able to keep up?

I just read a blog by a young lady in the UK who has CP - and her power wheelchair broke. It needs a part and her mom, she wrote, is taking care of it. Meanwhile, she is stranded. I did not put a link because her writing (because she was so frustrated) included mostly expletives. I hope she gets her wheels back soon and will keep her in my prayers.

These are the kind of issues kids with disabilities face. No wheelchair - no going out. It causes frustration and anger - and lots of feelings of being different. Kids are very resilient and can overcome this, but do need support.

The above article is also helpful to read to or with your child if he or she has a child with a disability in their school. Life is harder for these kids - and what a wonderful gift you would be giving your child - and the child with a disability- by doing some handicapped awareness at home!

By the way, the Kids Health website is a wonderful resource for parents in general on lots of "stuff"!

Are you a blogger? Even if not...please read.

Just a few things off topic.

First, I found this very cool (free) map you can download from Clusterr (scroll down on the right side until you see my map and click on it if you want one!) It shows where visitors from around the world are from.

Secondly, I am trying to let folks know about my blog - not just people with disabilities, family members, parents of kids with disabilities, Catholics, and Christians .... but a wider audience. I believe that inclusion is an interfaith effort...and a global issue.

I am gathering resources that might help folks. I am also trying to network people who may face the same issues - so we don't all reinvent the wheel.

For those reasons I would really appreciate it if you could help me spread the word by linking my blog to yours. Or telling a friend with a disability about my blog. Or telling people at your church. Or mentioning it at a disability support group. Or keeping it in mind if you are facing accessibility issues. Or bringing it up at your local book club....school....etc

Let's work toward inclusion now - so that our kids don't have to deal with the same issues tomorrow.

Thanks.

A smile, a kind word, a handshake...

I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
— Helen Keller (1880 – 1968)

...a bag of food for a family on hard times, a phone call to a grieving friend or parishioner, a dinner invitation for a lonely neighbor, a ride to the store for an older person, a game of cards with a youngster, volunteering at a soup kitchen, teaching CCD, joining the choir, mentoring a child, teaching someone to read, reading to someone who cannot see, holding a door open, adopting a child ...

Big or small, we all find ourselves called to help others in ways that only we can do.

It is our willingness to answer that call which is more important than anything else.

Multiple Sclerosis Links

Please click above for a website with many resources and sites listed!

handspeak

....is a subscription-based website where you can learn sign language online and access many other resources. Click above to visit!

Want a praystation portable?

Click above for a daily morning and evening prayer that downloads to your portable media player for prayer-on-the-go! (Courtesy of Fr. Roderick*)


* The Catholic Insider is a podcast by father Roderick Vonhögen, catholic priest of the Archdiocese of Utrecht, The Netherlands.

Found a new blog.....

..new to me anyhow called Day by Day with Peripheral Neuropathy.

It's a great resource for those of us dealing with disabilities - a lot of great posts about dealing with practical issues, feelings and handling things spiritually. Please stop by clicking on the link above.

Today the author posts about adjusting to using a walker in public - now we all know what that feels like. I just had this conversation with four different folks in the past three weeks. Whether it's using a walker, a cane , a wheelchair - or a guide dog , it's an adjustment that affects how we feel about ourselves.

I hope we can all continue to support each other and remember that even though we have different disabilities, we all face the same issues at different times.

Helping others understand....

Years ago I visited San Francisco. As my friend and I approached Fisherman's Wharf, a group of mimes approached us. One male mime began to dance around us, gesticulating madly and pointing at my friend, who was from Holland.

"What is this?" she asked in broken English, looking at me nervously. "What is he saying?"

This, of course, made him dance even more energetically - around her. As she reacted, he put on a show for a gathering crowd. I tried to reassure her that he was just an entertainer, but I couldn't translate fast enough to explain. Meanwhile, my friend was trying to talk to the mime and ask him questions.

It was pretty amusing to everyone except my poor friend. When it all ended a few moments later, she just tossed her long hair back and said "I knew all the time what that was."

I've always remembered this incident, because it highlights how difficult it is for us when we are in a culture we don't understand to really "get" what's going on. My friend was having a hard enough time trying to translate what everyone was saying without running into a mime who wasn't saying anything! Her reaction of pretending to understand what she clearly didn't understand is - understandable. After all, she was at the end of her rope with guessing all of the time as to what was happening or being said around her. That's a really uncomfortable feeling after awhile.

So what does this have to do with disabilities? I see situations happen like this sometimes when people get frustrated with not having the right information. Some people pretend to know what to do while others just freeze.

It's kind of sad when this happens because there is an easy solution. Instead of acting like the mime in this story, we can reach out to help people understand disabilities better. We can do handicapped awareness. We can be more visible and proactive. We can be clear with our instructions when people offer assistance. And, if we do have questions, we can ask for information.

Most importantly, we can try to put people at ease. Whether you're a person with a disability or not, none of us need to play the role of the mime in our communities.

TiVo KidZone lets parents control what kids watch.....

click above for article.

Patience is the companion of wisdom-St. Augustine

I have spent today embracing patience - or trying to. I remember that John, a blind friend of mine from school, used to laugh at me all of the time and say "Patience! Patience!" whenever I tried to hurry things along.

It's always been one of my faults that I want to rush things. It's hard for me to sit back, let go and just let things unfold.

I think that the best reminder of patience to me is the image of the ocean, watching as wave after wave comes into shore. The ocean seems timeless in its repetition. Each wave looks unique, yet each one is part of a pattern and is the same.

I think we all struggle with things we can't change quickly - whether it's the limits of our disabilities , the problems of relatives or friends, illness or other problems. Some problems we can't change at all.

What we can change is our reaction to the problem. We can exercise patience and experience less frustration and anger. We can pray to change our kneejerk patterns to events. We can look to GOd for help with growth as we deal with a problem.

Wisdom? Heck - I'll settle for a bit more perspective sometimes!

Monastic Musings: Learning About God From Nature

Monastic Musings: Learning About God From Nature

Sister Edith from Monastic Musings writes of her travels :

"If one believes, as St. Benedict says in his Rule, that God is present everywhere, this journey makes me reflect on the great variety of ways that God has expressed himself.:......Much like Job, I realize that the works of God are much bigger and more grand than I had known. To contemplate them with gratitude is my best response." Please click above to read...as our summer travels draw to a close.

A church made of legos...

Amy Hughes built a church out of lego pieces.....(click above to go to her website)....

I'm popping a wheelie about this book!

The Catholic Home: Celebrations and Traditions for Holidays, Feast Days & Every Day by Meredith Gould will be available in paperback in September 2006 - click above to pre-order.

From the publishers' description:

Using the liturgical calendar, The Catholic Home provides familiar and new ways to celebrate each season and its special days. The book also suggests meaningful ways to prepare as a family for such sacraments as Baptism, Confirmation, First Eucharist, and Matrimony. The author provides a concise history of each ritual and clarifies the meaning behind it by highlighting celebrations of Catholic holidays from different parts of the globe.

In a little while, to re-create the spiritual atmosphere of Lourdes, all the lights in the basilica will be switched off and we will light our candles, symbols of faith and of the ardent invocation of God. The singing of the Ave Maria of Lourdes will invite us to go in spirit to the Grotto of Massabielle, to the feet of the Immaculate Virgin. With profound faith let us present to her our human condition, our illnesses, a sign of neediness that is common to us all as we journey on in this earthly pilgrimage to be saved by her Son Jesus Christ. May Mary keep our hope alive so that, faithful to Christ's teaching, we renew the commitment to relieving our brethren in their sickness.
"The Virgin Expressed God's Tenderness for the Suffering” - Excerpts of the address on the World day of the Sick on February 11, 2006 by Pope Benedict XVI.

Remember Clay Aiken?

He's formed an organization to support kids with developmental disabilities - and support full inclusion. In October 2006, a book about friendship will be coming out.
Please click above to see his website.

Praying through the pain...

'Learn to do good; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow' (Psalms 117:17).

I've been praying this week while meditating on instances of God's tenderness shown through people. It's been a good spiritual experience for me.

Sometimes, even though the people around me are supportive and loving, I feel very alone. Usually this happens when I am in some kind of pain. Clearly it happens when we're in emotional pain - but, for me, it happens also when I am in physical pain. When I overdo, it translates into spasms in my body. Spasms can be pretty painful.

When this happens, I start blaming myself - instead of turning to prayer and to God. I think to myself that I "mishandled things". I didn't ask for help when I should have. I overdid things. Blah blah blah.

But the reality is that I have a responsible day job with due dates. Although I try to set up assistance, when I get very busy, it falls short. Then I am in physical pain because, disability or not, it is up to me to get the work done.

So, having been through this time after time, I'm finally realizing that instead of blaming myself, I can pray. I can pray right through any pain I have.

Here's the deal: the physical or emotional pain may not go away, but it is relieved. I'm seeking a spiritual form of comfort and God's presence, not a cure.

I'll share a secret with you: God never denies that to me. I suspect God never denies that to anyone who is open,ready and willing for it.

Have you ever heard a beautiful, sweet song that touched your heart and wished it would never end? Have you ever seen a beautiful spot by the ocean or on a mountain- where you wished you could stay forever? Have you ever experienced that immediate sense of bliss?

This is what God's presence is like. It comes with a sense of peace, beauty and warmth. It fills in all those "alone" places, all of those empty spots. It relieves all of my fears and pains and helps me realize which ones are of my own making. It restores me. It leads me to want to do good acts for others without judging who they are. It makes me aware of how I sometimes harshly judge myself.

The Psalm above does not say "Learn to do good only for those who deserve it". It doesnt qualify or judge or eliminate anyone.

I hope that as I spend more time in prayer and in God's presence, I will be better able to follow God's will.

Head count..

.I just changed my blog counter to sitefeed.

It was most interesting to see the international readership results from neocounter but when the free trial wore off, that went away for the most part ...but what was interesting is how much traffic the counter showed. Thanks to everyone for stopping by and reading.

an article for students transitioning from high school to college...

Please click above for an excellent article.

This was written for college students with disabilities but really applies to high school students entering or preparing to enter college - and their parents. I've posted this before but it is a great time of year to put it out there again!

And thank you to Sr. Edith, who teaches at a university level, for stopping by and reminding us in her comment to pray for those students entering college and also to stay in touch with them and support them in adjusting to their new responsibilities.

Life at the Edge

Life at the Edge

"Disability is not a 'brave struggle' or 'courage in the face of adversity'... disability is an art. It's an ingenious way to live."
- Neil Marcus

Disability World

An international ezine for disability issues/news

Things are a lot simpler....

...when kids are young.

My sister emailed me to see if I had an extra backpack for my nephew in high school. I win them at wheelchair tennis tournaments sometimes, so that's an easy request. She's getting the kids ready for school - one son in high school, the other in elementary school.

My brothers, on the other hand, each have their eldest son going off to college for the first time this week. Both young men are going to be hours away from home this year, whereas last year their mothers, too, were shopping for new clothes and backpacks.

Now things are quite different. Orientation day. Packing up enough stuff to fill a dorm room. Dealing with younger siblings left at home. Working out travel plans, meal plans, phone calls, computer access.

Saying goodbye. Not the "goodbye, see you after football practice" but the "goodbye, see you on Parent's Day".

Reminding them to eat right. Not the "eat your broccoli, I made that fresh" but the question over the phone "Are you eating right?" - and having no clue what the answer is, except the "Sure, Mom"..."Sure, Dad".

Parents (and even aunts) need to remember that every late August and September, little boys who are now young men trudge off to college - and stay there. They survive and thrive.

I need to go find that backpack.

We need a global treaty for the disabled....

In some countries marriage is against the law for people with disabilities. In the poorer countries, 90 per cent of children with disabilities do not attend school....click above to read more from an article by a UN worker

Disability Studies, Temple U.: New books on Dixmont asylum, Deaf in Japan

Disability Studies, Temple U.: New books on Dixmont asylum, Deaf in Japan

Two books in the area of disability.....

..made those who had been defeated by life feel the tenderness of God....

"Mother Teresa marked the history of our century with courage. She served all human beings by promoting their dignity and respect, and made those who had been defeated by life feel the tenderness of God.''
- Pope John Paul II

Her name was Agnes. She was born in Albania. She grew up to be Mother Teresa.

She left home at the age of 18 to join a religious order. She taught for over a decade in India, but was so distressed by the suffering outside the walls of the convent that she asked permission to serve people on the streets. Eventually she began her own order, Missionaries of Charity, in 1950.

She was given many honors, including the Nobel Peace Prize and honorary US citizenship. However, her words when visiting the United States were about others: If you do not want the babies, send them to me. I will take them.

She fought for the dignity of each and every human life. Her works, although humbly done, grew to produce much fruit. She saw Christ in all human beings, no matter how destitute, forlorn, unloved, dirty, hungry or ill. She set out to meet their basic needs and restore their dignity.

If you are feeling defeated by life, if you feel you have lost your dignity and worth as a human being, please know that God's tenderness extends to you. Know that our faith celebrates each and every life and human being as part of a greater Whole-and that, with unity, all of us grow toward being more Christ-like. We cannot do this alone - we must do this in community.

So I ask that you share my hope that God's tenderness is shown daily on earth by others like Mother Teresa. Every act we do for another, no matter how simple, spreads joy. Our choice to be an agent of God's work, each and every day, is our highest calling.

I do not mean these words in the sense that those of us with disabilities are mere recipients - for we, too, must and can serve others as God provides us with opportunities. I truly believe that all of us can serve each other. If you are reading this blog and your body has physical limitations, I challenge you to find ways to serve others.

Appearances can be deceiving. We may judge someone as helpless and unable to do anything. We may judge ourselves that way on our worst days or when we first face our disability.

But God does not see the person that way. God does not see us that way.

Mother Teresa gave people bread to eat - and dignity. She gave them clean clothes - and love. Her message was clear: no one is a throwaway.

Defeated in life? Or wrapped in God's special tenderness?

It is up to us to choose our way.

The needs of elderly parishioners....

Henri Nouwen in Aging states, "Society does not have room for the elderly. They are ostracized, excommunicated, expelled like contagious lepers, no longer considered as full members of the human community."

...can also be met by providing for the needs of those with disabilities.

The elderly often need physical access to church buildings. They may have a difficult or impossible time navigating their way around without assistance due to vision impairment or mobility impairments. Their hearing may become so diminished that they can no longer hear Mass.

In today's busy society, many families do not care directly for their elderly. They do not provide transportation to Mass or daily care. This leaves the oldest and most frail among us without access to Mass if they can no longer drive. There is a great need for transportation to Mass for the elderly and those with disabilities who either cannot drive or do not own a car. If your parish cannot provide such services, perhaps you can let people know which bus lines run by your church or make arrangements with a local taxi company to provide discounts so that people can afford to take a taxi to Mass.

Your parish can also provide meals for the elderly to take home. Our parish has a refrigerator full of Comfort meals for those who need them. When I was sick I always knew I could go in there and take one if I needed a home cooked meal. What a wonderful comfort that was!

I'll admit I miss Pope John Paul II. He was a living example of how to face adversity - physical and otherwise -for many years. I'm sure many people wondered what sustained his frail body as he continued to serve despite numerous physical problems.

Yet there was a joy about him that clearly showed no matter how much pain he might be in. This was most visible when he was around young people. I used to love watching him as the children brought the Gifts up to the altar at Mass. He was often seen saying a few words to the children and was always encouraging young people.

Despite his physical illnesses, pain and aging, he never lost that joy. It emanated from him.

I remember one day shortly after my accident when I was sitting in my living room. I was in a great deal of pain. The Pope came on TV and I watched as he greeted everyone. He was calm and joyful despite being jostled about - and I knew he must be in pain also.

The way he handled his situation gave me hope that I could, through prayer and faith, try to handle my pain better. I learned to hand things over to God and to pray often and, as the years went by, it became easier.

Even though I never met the Pope, he taught me more about how to live as a Catholic with a disability than anyone else here on earth.

"How to pray? This is a simple matter. I would say: Pray any way you like, so long as you do pray." You can pray the way your mother taught you; you can use a prayer book. Sometimes it takes courage to pray; but it is possible to pray, and necessary to pray. Whether from memory or a book or just in thought, it is all the same."

John Paul II

love and giggles: Special Siblings

love and giggles: Special Siblings

A mom writes about how she worries about the effect of having a sibling with a disability has on her other kids....and then ends by saying:
She is their sister. We all love her, and the more good that comes out of serving her, the better. Who knows the paths their lives will take because they have a sister with Down Syndrome?

"I was frightened, once, of disabled people "

...until this Catholic mom had a child with a disability, she says, she was afraid of people with disabilities. Now, she says, she understands that we are all broken and disabled.

She writes of the lack of accessibility in churches, stating that very often, it is infinitely easier to live without taking the Eucharist than it is to try to attend a Mass with a handicapped person. She speaks about how the pews in churches make no allowances for wheelchair seating, how there are no changing areas for a child with a disability and there are no quiet areas for them to quiet down. She writes about the difficulty obtaining religious education for her child.

She says she understands the expense but that it keeps people away from Christ. She writes of the need for us to present a unified front against the culture of death. She says we need to provide a safe place for those with disabilities and to stand up and say we are not afraid of disability. She urges people to say Hello and let their love overflow toward others.

She says it much better than anyone could who has not lived with a child with a disability.

Please click above to read about her experience.

Glenmary Missioners....

..serve rural Americans, establishing parishes where none exist.

This morning Fr. Robert Poadl from Glenmary visited our parish and spoke eloquently about the work done in Mississippi, Tennessee, Oklahoma and many other areas.

He spoke of the courage it takes to serve and, sadly, about how a rectory burned down this past week leaving an elderly priest with nothing but his wallet and medicine. This same priest found another place to rent within two days and is carrying on his work.

Please take a moment to click above, visit their site, and give them your prayers and, if you can, some financial support.

some interesting facts

including that most people with spinal cord injuries die within 2 years in third world countries. This lists issues in the areas of poverty, education, gender, work and stats. It's from 1992 - much has not changed.

also the UN Human Rights Declaration on Disability of 1975 would give disabled people rights internationally - if it were properly implemented, monitored and evaluated.

click above to read.

Our focus is on living, not on our disabilities...

"My darling they'll never see past your legs unless you do."
Eleanor Roosevelt to FDR

Those of us with disabilities come to a crossroad in our lives where we have to face decisions and make choices about what we can do within our physical limits.

In some ways, it's no different than the process others go through when they make life choices. However, we live in a society where the majority of people with disabilities don't work. We face barriers, attitudinal and physical. There are still labels and misconceptions and myths flying around about what people with disabilities can't do. This can be a difficult atmosphere to manuever through on the road to adjusting to living with a disability.

We can, in other words, "psych ourselves out". We can settle for less than what we can achieve. We can make negative assumptions . We can feel out of control and helpless - and stay stuck in that. This is a very painful way to live.

I know, personally, that I have to let go of other peoples' reactions to my disability many times in order to attend to the business of living. If I responded to every person's reaction to my wheelchair, for example, I wouldn't have time to get my job done, nor would I be able to have a nice dinner with a friend or date. If I had allowed other people to tell me what I could do with my disability, my life would be more limited than I feel is necessary.

The reality of living with a disability is that it can be pretty normal. Like everyone else, I work, pay my bills, socialize, and have hobbies. I worship, attend Mass, and participate in several volunteer groups.

Over the years, I've learned to "see past my legs". I know that many of my friends living with disabilities have done the same thing. Our focus is on living, not on our disabilities.

Hospitality : Extending A Hand

"The biggest disease is not leprosy or tuberculosis,
But rather the feeling of being unwanted."
--- Mother Theresa

I've been reading this afternoon about Jesus and hospitality. There were a few articles about how Jesus extended himself to those on the fringe of society, always looking them in the eye and calling them by name. He ate with people who were considered outcasts, such as tax collectors.

Some of the pieces talked not only about how Jesus extended His hand to others in hospitality, but also healed them.

As I read, I couldn't help but think that perhaps some, if not most, of the healing came from the hospitality extended to those who felt themselves to be outsiders.

Those of us who go to Mass may not be able to heal others with miracles, but we can certainly extend hospitality. We can extend a handshake, look someone in the eye, remember someone's name. We can see that person the same way that Jesus did, creating a feeling of being wanted.

Most of us are fortunate enough to have families, jobs and social connections to help us stay connected and feel wanted. But there are some not so lucky. It may be the person in the pew beside you or behind you who has lost a friend, recently been widowed, sent a child away to college and is now a single parent home alone.

I never realized until I had a visible disability how many people feel unwanted. People will come up to me and tell me their problems in a way they didn't before. Many times, whatever the root cause of their problem, what cries out to me is that they feel as if no one cares about them.

So tomorrow when you go to Mass, remember to extend the kind of hospitality that Jesus did. Perhaps you, too, may heal someone who is suffering.

Visual Impairment guide for parents...and teachers

Please click above for link.

St Josephs School for the Blind in NJ offering outreach services...

...to parents and children with disabilities.

Please click above for a link.

There is a wonderful section entitled Family Questions which explains how family members can explain their child's disability and deal with other issues on their site. I highly recommend it to everyone - lots of good information...whether you have a child with a disability or not.

When people with disabilities serve.....

A blind lector, a man in a wheelchair giving Communion.....click above to read about people with disabilities and how they participate in their parishes.

Kids on the Block...

No, it's not a new singing group. It's a puppet presentation used to educate kids on issues like safety and disability awareness. Their website (click above) has alot of educational resources. Check it out!

hIPWreck brings abundance of grace

2 Cor 9:8 (NAS) And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed.

Click above for a great article by a Catholic woman about how breaking her hip taught her about grace....

When a priest needs accessibility....

click above for an interesting article in an Assistive Technology publication about a parish priest who needed accessible arrangements due to his use of a wheelchair.

One of the things mentioned in the article is how it brought home the issue of accessibility (or lack thereof) to the congregation when it happened to their priest. There are also practical suggestions on what needed to be done.

Timothy Jones Fine Art

I ran across the beautiful artwork of Tim Jones, a fellow Catholic blogger. Click above to take a look at his work. I assure you it's worth the time. There are orginal paintings and prints available at lower prices. Make sure you look at the stunning liturgical art available.

I don't say stunning too often.

A pearly gates joke - wheelchair version

A man who used a wheelchair died. St. Peter met him at the pearly gates and welcomed him. But he was interrupted before he could tell the man where he was going.

"Do you have a ramp?" asked the man.

"Of course we do. Heaven is completely accessible," replied St. Peter. "Let me show you around."

So the two went inside the gates. Everything appeared to be accessible - there were elevators, ramps, braille signs, even state of the art curb cuts.

The man was delighted. "I've never seen such great accommodations," he enthused.

St. Peter pointed him toward a condo. "Here's where you'll be staying."

The man rolled into an apartment and peered into the bathroom. To his dismay, the entrance was so narrow he couldn't get through to use the toilet. He turned and looked at St. Peter. "I don't understand. Why would the bathroom be like this? It's going to be hell if I can't use the toilet."

"Exactly," replied St. Peter, walking away.

For those who are homebound....

Act of Spiritual Communion

My Jesus, I believe that Thou art present in the Blessed Sacrament. I love Thee above all things and I desire Thee in my soul. Since I cannot now receive Thee sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. As though thou wert already there, I embrace Thee and unite myself wholly to Thee; permit not that I should ever be separated from Thee

Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

{Remember, if you cannot get to Mass, many parishes have Eucharistic ministers who might be able to bring Communion to you in your home. }

However here's a prayer you can say that I found when I was sick and couldn't get to Mass.

We Grow Dreams Greenhouse....

...employs people with disabilities in the Chicago area. They provide training and job opportunities.

Click above for a great article from Catholic Online about one young Catholic who has Downs syndrome and his experience working there.

As one article described it, this organization doesn't just grow plants, it grows pride.

Transformation: An International Exhibit of Art...

..by Artists with Disabilities.

Click above for a visual treat - and a chance to explore art running the gamut from joy to fear to - wherever it may lead you!
The Very Special Arts Program has put together this international exhibition. Enjoy!

Positive recognition of differences encourages unity and discourages discrimination: USCCB Guidelines on Welcoming the Disabled

I remember saying to a nun when I was in elementary school that I didn't like the way someone was doing things. She gave me a steely look and said firmly "Life would be pretty boring if we were all the same."

I learned as I grew older that she was right. Getting to know people who are different is one of the most interesting ways I can think of to spend time. It's led me to learn about different cultures, ways of life and, in the end, about myself.

Because the more people I've met, strangely enough the more I've realized we're all the same. Whenever I'm around a person who is very positive and outgoing and enjoys people I notice that they tend to be a tolerant person with a welcoming attitude. They choose to embrace diversity and differences rather than ignore them or pretend the differences don't exist.

In fact, they celebrate differences.

This celebration of how each of us is different, yet we are all the same is a basic tenet of our faith. It keeps us aware of how we are all part of One Body - and encourages unity among Catholics.

How wonderful it is when someone in the airport asks me what my tennis wheelchair is for - and expresses a real interest in what I am doing instead of being afraid to approach me. It's great when I go to a church function and have a good laugh with the other ladies about misperceptions we may have - about each other.

Being around people with disabilities doesn't mean you have to be somber. People with disabilities aren't sick - they are living and doing things, sometimes, in different ways. When we recognize the positives in each other and get past the differences, everyone wins because then all can contribute to the community at our parishes and dioceses to the max!

UCP

United Cerebral Palsy - click for website

A kid WITH a disability

In the back of my car there is a drawing much like this one done by my ten year old nephew. He did it one day when we went out and left it in the car for me.

I've never taken it out because everytime I see it, I smile. It reminds me of him and his sweet generous nature.

My nephew has CP.

We talk about our disabilities sometimes. Sometimes when we go out together and are both using wheelchairs, we can be quite a combination. I remember the day we went into Gertrude Hawks' chocolate shop to get him some chocolate candy. It was quite a small shop so he had to wedge his wheelchair in pretty carefully to manage. But, since it was candy, he showed better mobility than I've ever seen before!

"I want this one," he said, holding up a box of candy, oblivious to the fact that he was cutting off a few people.

The folks smiled indulgently and I gently showed him how to manuever his wheelchair with a bit more consideration. He looked at me and said "When I saw all this candy, I just lost my head!"

Because he's a kid. A kid who has to use a wheelchair for long distances. A kid who has many different physical struggles but an above average IQ. A kid who can be brave, fearless, generous, courageous - and at other times is afraid or thoughtless. Just like every other kid.

It frustrates him when he is treated differently. It embarrasses him when people stare at him when he does his PT in the pool or see him as a "disabled" kid.

When I see his struggles, I reach out to help him with what I've learned from my own . I tell him that God is always there. I explain that he is just as good as anyone else and, of course, his aunt thinks he's much better!

And I always remember that he's a kid with a disability - not the other way around. He's a kid first.

Top 10 Reasons to Go to Mass in a Wheelchair

10. You get a better cushion than the pew.

9. You can turn your chair in a 360 degree circle so you don't miss anything.

8. When they give the Sign of the Peace, you can roll around faster and shake more peoples' hands than anyone else.

7. You get the best parking spot.

6. Your lap is perfect for carrying the Gifts up to the altar.

5. You don't have to go up to get Communion if you don't feel like it- they'll deliver!

4. You never have to climb over other people to get back to your seat.

3. You can pop wheelies during the sermon if it's boring.

2. You can sit in the back and check out what it's like to be an usher.

and the number 1 reason to go to Mass in a wheelchair is...

1. *You* belong!

They told him to be quiet....

Mark 10:46-52

46Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. 47When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"
48Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"

49Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you."
50Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

51"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see."

52"Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.


..but he shouted all the more.

I've always been struck in this passage not only by Jesus' attention to the blind man, who was clearly treated like an outcast by others, but by the blind man's persistence in calling out to Jesus.

When they told him to be quiet, he shouted all the more.

I know what it took for this blind man to risk calling out to Jesus - it took faith.

Jesus' reaction was simple. He asked "What do you want me to do for you?" The blind man replied that he wanted to see. Immediately he was healed .

He was healed because of his faith.

This is a radical message, one that clearly encourages us to shout "all the more". There is a message of hope here, that our faith can empower us to do things that we may think are beyond all reality.

Jesus attends to the outcast, the one who is unheard in this parable. But He did not see an outcast.

Jesus saw a man of faith.

Soldier Ride

"Soldier Ride was designed to raise money and awareness for wounded soldiers coming out of this war, but what it really did was prove to wounded soldiers like myself that anything was possible. It proved to us that society would accept us the way we are and not outcast us. Everyone involved in Soldier Ride was awesome! This event was life-changing and the memory will last forever!"
Robert R., AE3, USN (Ret.)

Soldier Ride is an organization that raises funds to assists veterans by organizing bicycle rides - which injured vets participate in. It assists in their rehabilitation and return to society.

Click above to visit their web site!

Wanted: 2000 shepherds

A Spanish farm union erroneously posted job offerings for 2000 shepherds - and is inundated with applicants. (click above for story)

Saint Anthony, Zealous for Justice

Dear St. Anthony, you were prompt to fulfill all justice. You gave God and His creation the service He required from you. You respected other people's rights and treated them with kindness and understanding. St. Anthony, Zealous for Justice, teach me the beauty of this virtue. Make me prompt to fulfill all justice toward God and toward all creation. Help me also in my pressing needs

Whose image?

As a Catholic, I know that I'm made in God's image. This has been a truth that I've always held no matter what has happened to me in my life. The basic dignity of the human being is a tenet of our Church and, as a cradle Catholic, I have always believed in this.

However, when I became disabled, I ran into a bit of an "image problem". When I went out in public, some people reacted to me very differently when I was in a wheelchair. It has been difficult for me to learn not to allow others to place their labels on me and define me any differently. After all, I am the same person I always have been.

Today I went over to the store to get a gardening glove to use for playing wheelchair tennis. As I struggled with my money to pay for it because of my hand impairment, a woman on line behind me began to complain about how long I was taking. She sighed, heaved and generally made it clear that she was way too busy to wait around to suit me and my "special" problems. She made a speech about how she was usually very patient, but this was unreasonable.

Of course I could not move any quicker than I was. To make matters worse, after I finally managed to give the cash to the cashier, I then dropped the change and bills as I tried to put it into my wheelchair bag. At that point I was bent over, trying to pick up dollar bills without much success. The cashier came around and helped me as the woman's tirade escalated.

"I don't know why you people expect everyone else to cater to you," the woman said in a loud voice. "Who do you think you are?"

I took the change from the cashier and popped it into my bag with the side of my arm. Then I turned around and looked at her. "I am a human being," I said quietly "and I deserve to be treated with dignity just the way I am."

Because I know the answer to the question "Who do you think you are?", I do not let an occasional rude and, most likely unhappy, person stop me from living my life.

I encourage people with disabilities to take the risks involved in "getting out there" and being visible in our society. It is the only way inclusion is going to happen.

Just remember who you are.

DisAbility Info website

Click above to visit this great website full of information about technology, sports, etc. Thanks to Amber from This Catholic Journey for forwarding it.

Team Hoyt

click for a link to Team Hoyt, the amazing father-son team that conquers all - with love. Their goal is to integrate the physically disabled into all areas of life.

Are you the parent of a newly diagnosed special needs child?

Click above for an article on the first five things to do....

for international disability news

..click here!

Catholics and Evangelization

for a great thought-provoking post, click above!

The most deadly poison of our times is indifference.

St . Maximillian Kolbe


Have you ever realized after an event happened that you stood by, either deliberately or inadvertently, and allowed an injustice to take place without taking action?

I know I have. Sometimes this happens because we are afraid. Or maybe we are just indifferent.

Years ago when I taught drama at a girls' camp, a little girl was sent to us who was deaf. She was only seven years old and her mom entered her into the camp without telling the director that she couldn't hear.

On the first morning of camp, all of the little girls would line up and we would call out their names as counselors so they would know which cabin to go to. When I called this little girl's name, she did not step forward - of course. She couldn't hear me.

I called the name out over and over. Finally, I saw al little girl standing aside - and somehow I knew she could not hear me. She was deaf.

I put down my clipboard and approached the little girl. She looked frightened to death. I knelt down and took her hand and led her over to my group of seven year olds.

The camp director told me to keep an eye on her and we would see if it would work out. Over the next few days, I did just that - kept an eye on 24 little girls - one of whom was deaf.

Later I asked the girls if they knew her. About ten of them went to her school but said "She's in the other class." They admitted they were afraid of her because she was different. One said "I didn't know what to do or say when you called her name."

I set out to give the little girls a great camp experience and kept this camper close by whenever there was a particular danger - a campfire, swimming, etc. Slowly the other little girls began to start holding her hand and directing her when she couldn't hear things. Within a few days, she was enjoying camp and a lot of her fear was gone.

But I've never forgotten that moment in the main lodge when I walked over and took that little girl's hand. I had never been around anyone who was deaf so I don't know how I "knew". It doesn't matter, except that I was able to reach out to her when she was afraid.

It's easy to act indifferent toward others who are different from us. It's normal to worry that we'll say or do the wrong thing and dismiss it as too much - for us. Yet this is how God steps into our lives and uses us. We can be that person who reaches out - who says the kind word, takes someone's hand - no matter what, we can be the agent of change that we are meant to be so that we can include someone who would otherwise be excluded.

We can, indeed, through our caring bring the lost sheep home if we let God work through us.

Our Lady of Guadalupe,
Mystical Rose,
make intercession for holy Church,
protect the sovereign Pontiff,
help all those who invoke you in their necessities,
and since you are the ever Virgin Mary
and Mother of the true God,
obtain for us from your most holy Son
the grace of keeping our faith,
of sweet hope in the midst of the bitterness of life
of burning charity, and the precious gift
of final perseverance.
Amen.

Woman calls police to report clean house....

(click above for story)

A woman called police to report that she came home - and her house was clean. Apparently she thought someone broke in, but it turned out that a neighbor had hired a maid to come in and clean - and the housecleaners cleaned the wrong place.

Not only is this story amusing, but it reminded me of the one thing that is the biggest energy waster going - complaining. People complain every day. Mostly they complain about bad things that happen. But then, every now and then, you even hear someone complain about a good thing that's happening.

Why? Usually they don't see it as a good thing. Or, even if it is a good thing, like a clean house, they suspect someone's motives. They don't like the way it was done. They find fault in the situation.

What does this have to do with living with a disability? Everything.

If we have a negative attitude, it colors our world. It doesn't matter if we're disabled or not. We used to have a family friend who would complain no matter what food was served at dinner. The joke became that it just didn't matter what we had - nothing would be right.

We can fall into this trap of complaining very easily. Sometimes our lives are inconvenient - and with disabilities, even more so at times. It's easy to list all of the reasons why we can't do something or what's wrong with our situation.

Yet if we make the effort to be positive and stop complaining, an odd thing happens. Things become - better. Even though nothing has changed.

Complaining for the sake of complaining hurts people. It hurts the people who complain the most because it keeps them negative and trapped.

So the next time you think about complaining , stop a second and ask "Is this negativity worth it?"

If I could just touch the hem of His garment...

As I head out, I leave you with a post, entitled above, by a Catholic author who also has a blog "Light on Dark Water". Please click above to read.

Welcoming those new to our faith

I woke up early this morning and was reading other Catholic blogs. I found several written by people who are new to our Catholic faith. One is beginning RCIA classes and wrote about her experience with that process. The other writes of learning how to live in community with others and practice the faith.

As I read these blogs, I was struck by the comments left by other Catholics who reached out. The warmth of these comments and pragmatic suggestions touched me.

I'm sure they understood the courage it takes for people who are new to our faith to start this journey. I certainly do. As a cradle Catholic, I've had an entire lifetime to absorb the teachings of the Church. I was educated in a parochial school. I've been around clergy members and had family friends who were clergy. I've experienced family weddings, funerals - all within my Catholic environment.

But people new to our faith, those who just now hear the call, do not have this background.

One blogger wrote about being afraid of priests when he was new. Another described not knowing the protocol of so many things. On and on.

So I want to thank those people in our Catholic community who are so warm and welcoming to these newcomers. I also want to commend the newcomers for reaching out, because it is true that if you don't express what you need, people just don't know.

What a great morning!

I am leaving to go to a wheelchair tennis tournament (USTA) today. I'll be back and will get emails, comments, etc. when I return.

A Catholic Hart: Magnificat

A Catholic Hart: Magnificat

Louis at A Catholic Hart writes about Magnificat, which he uses as a daily and Sunday missal. I just ordered this too and wanted to make my readers aware of this wonderful addition to prayer life. Thanks, Louis!

man with black hat: Saint Lawrence

man with black hat: Saint Lawrence

This is the best bio of St Lawrence, today's saint, I've seen today !

Cerebral Palsy Network

A support website with lots of resources.

Every human being has his own sense of vacancy, his own sense of loss. My "stump" (and it took me two years to even type that word) is just a tiny symbol of inadequacy and dread, one which we all share, no matter its brand. When one person comes clean in terms of candor, the door is opened for others to follow. A poet who fails to take emotional risk is limited to trite summary and speculation. Individual grief is the clay of human acceptance, it has to be, or we learn nothing from our suffering.
Janet Buck, poet